Most of my life coaching is oriented toward assisting others to update their belief systems. When we are very young, we form our basic beliefs about ourselves, others and the world around us. As children, we do not have the benefit of a mature brain to use abstract, rational or logical thought to shape our beliefs. We also do not have very much life experience to add aspects of reality to the beliefs we form. Therefore, early childhood beliefs require regular updating in order to remain useful and reality-oriented.
Many of us still hold to be true, one premature, usually unconscious, belief: "I must have certain things before I can do (or be) what I want." Examples of this mistaken belief include: believing you must have good looks before you can "get a mate;" believing you need to have outstanding talent before you can become successful; believing you need money before you can be happy; believing you need to know everything there is about a given task before you undertake action to accomplish it.
This early-developed belief continues…if we have certain things, do certain activities, then we will become a particular person. When I was in school, I believed that I needed to have good grades before I could have a higher education, and once I had that education, I would be a different kind of person.
In his book, The Greatest Opportunity In The History Of The World, millionaire John Kalench writes, "People think we need to have certain things, whether it’s looks, outstanding talent, money or extraordinary skills, before we can do what we want, and only then will we be who we’d like to be." He goes on to say: "That’s not how it works. We have what we want because we do what it takes to get it. We do what it takes because we are being the kind of person who does those kinds of things. Be, do, have. That’s really the way it works."
We aren’t human havings or human doings. We are human beings!
Children who believe the order of having first, then doing, then being, have it backwards. They need to reverse the order of having, doing and being. They need to update their early beliefs. They need to know they will grow into a unique being, who then acquires characteristics, and then acts based on those acquired personal characteristics. The results of those actions will pretty much determine any results or outcomes in their lives.
If "happiness" is your desired outcome, begin by working on yourself…who you are. When you become the person you desire to be…happiness will occur as if by magic. If success at any endeavor is the result you want, begin by working on yourself…who you are right now. As you develop habits that support the creation of the result you desire, and practice them, you increase the probability the result you desire will be manifested in reality. You will be successful.
Kalench writes: "It’s just like ‘seeing is believing.’ We’ve got that backwards, too. Believing is seeing. We see what we believe. Nothing more, nothing less. And until we believe we can have something in our life, we won’t see it!"
Until you believe you can have happiness…you will never see yourself as happy. Until you believe you can become the person you were meant to be…you will never see yourself differently. Until you believe you can have whatever it is you desire, you will not see it, because it won’t be made manifest.
Make a conscious choice to update your belief system. Choose to live your dreams and aspirations. Refuse to settle for anything less than what you want in life. When you believe in what you want, truly believe, then "all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance…" will come your way. You will realize your desires. Learn to know yourself. Believe in the certainty of who you are, and you will realize your potential as a human being.
