It was time. Kelly knew there was something wrong in her body. It was confirmed there was a growth near her heart. Acceptance of this fact seeped slowly into my consciousness. A hollow feeling invaded my belly, the feeling that takes hold of your stomach when it confronts loss.
My thoughts raced – to memories – through fears – to possibilities.
Kelly had been my constant companion for more than thirteen years. She greeted me in the morning with her wagging tail and followed me around the house, as if my every step were an adventure. If I even thought of leaving the house without her, she looked at me with those heartfelt eyes in such a way that I would inevitably grab her leash and we would be on our way.
Yes, Kelly was definitely one of a kind.
Trying to imagine my life without her in it was challenging. The only thing that saved me was a technique called EFT. Each time the fears and tears emerged I would start to tap.
EFT is a self-administered form of acupressure developed by Gary Craig. Instead of needles – tapping is used to stimulate the meridian end points, thus neutralizing any thought or feeling that accompanies the gesture. I wanted to neutralize any feeling that would prohibit me from spending my last days with Kelly in complete coherence. I wanted to stay open so that when the vet came to assist Kelly’s spirit in releasing her body, I could remain present. I wanted to treat her transition as a graduation, sustaining joy as I helped escort her into the light.
This picture, taken 15 minutes before the vet arrived at our home, never fails to remind me that I succeeded. I did move beyond compassion. I was able to attain a state of grace and acceptance never before experienced. Since that time, I have not responded to my world in the same way. My heart changed. Its actual vibration was altered, as I gave every inner child time to express the feelings of grief and used EFT to neutralize her fears.
And because of this, I was able to gracefully let go of Kelly. Six days later when my next canine companion found his way into my heart, I was open to receive.