Every week, talk show host Jimmy Fallon does a regular segment on his “Late Night” program in which he scribbles brief thank you notes to random things and people. When I first saw the sequence, it was Christmas time and I assumed the host was showing his gratitude in the spirit of the holidays. Over time, I realized the show’s writers were just having fun…for example, “Thank you, tanning beds, for looking like human Panini makers.” Jimmy’s crew has inspired me to offer some Thank You notes of my own:

THANK YOU, ASTROLOGY, for giving us a cosmological explanation for the challenges we go through each month, and particular thanks goes out to Mercury Retrograde, for taking most of the blame for almost everything that goes wrong.

THANK YOU, ORGANIC FOOD, for giving holistic types something they can talk to average people about without appearing too strange.

THANK YOU, EXTRATERRESTRIALS, for giving us humans ideas for incredible scientific discoveries without taking any credit, and for your light shows in the sky that demonstrate that people really are no different than cats who chase flashlight beams up the wall.

THANK YOU, DEEPAK CHOPRA, for being able to say anything at all and make it sound so inspiring.

THANK YOU, FENG SHUI, for encouraging us to clean our house and for giving us more mirrors on the walls to show us when the stuff is piling up again.

THANK YOU, BUDDHA, for not only inspiring a major religion, but being able to show others with pot bellies that it’s okay to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too seriously.

AND THANK YOU, MAYAN CALENDAR, for having the courage to admit you’re tired and finally have to quit after counting down every day for 5,126 years.

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