Fifth in a series
Believing it takes a village to heal a person, I activated another support system: an energy / spiritual healer to clear my dis-ease all the way to its genesis. As I pondered who could walk me through this portion of my journey, no specific person came to mind, nor did I receive inner affirmation: “This one!”
I asked for Divine guidance, “What do I want from this energy healer; who might it be?” and I heard, “Indigenous,” though initially I thought “Native American.” It took asking a couple of friends before I found her — she’s Mexican and I knew even before we talked she would help me.
At a mini expo where we were both exhibitors, a friend led me into her massage room. Our eyes met, then her eyes shifted to the exact location of the tumor; I knew she knew why I was there. I indicated I wanted the healing to go to the core of the cancer; early childhood trauma can be a factor in cancer even if it shows up later in life as mine had. During our conversation she intuited my childhood originating trauma. She said we would need three healing sessions.
My insides reeled, my knees buckled. I asked myself, “Am I ready? Can I do this? Do I want to?” Big breath in, huge sigh — I committed. Some part of me knew this meant releasing long-repressed emotional pain. We scheduled the first session; the other two followed two weeks apart.
Going to my first session with Claudia Epyolotzin, my radar was up; I was asking on all levels of consciousness, “Will I be safe? What will happen? Great Spirit, help me clear the past and embrace healing.” Immediately cocooned in her healing space, I felt safe, nurtured, ready for the healing energies to flow to me, in me, through me. I lay upon Claudia’s massage table; the journey began.
It’s said somewhere that spiritual illness can manifest in the body as illness, but that human illness cannot and does not compromise the Spirit. I wondered, is the genesis of my tumor Spirit or Human?
As she lightly touched the inner edges of my brows, I prayed thankfully that I was lying down; had I been standing, I might have fainted. Pain — emotional pain — seared through my body. Feeling safe enough to let my guard down, the tears flowed. I was grateful that she, the space, and the spirits she had called upon for assistance, were holding me in loving support. My childhood trauma took on a different significance; I had erroneously taken on guilt and the belief that I was the problem. As Claudia moved her attention to different body areas, new pain and grief came to the surface, released and transformed.
It was so visceral that it’s hard to describe. Afterward, I received nurturing tea. Claudia said that although she had a plan, the process had to follow the energy. She acknowledged it was both a deep emotional cleansing and a spiritual healing. That still baffles me; my head cannot wrap itself around it, yet, I know it is true.
Claudia had me select four Bach Flower Essences and prepared them for me to take drops two to three times a day to help me continue releasing residual energy and find a new level of balance. After several days, the grief cleared; a greater level of peace began to surface.
During the second healing, I relaxed, semi-conscious. The emotional pain was gone; now I was being “reconfigured” on a cellular level. Afterwards, Claudia shared again that she had to follow the Spirit guidance, inventing the healing prayers and actions as she went. It was very powerful, in a different way. The Bach Flower Essences that I chose contained both familiar and new ones.
The third healing was a powerful acknowledgment of movement along my path. This time Claudia had meditated on the healing, was ready for me, and just before I got there, created a new song to use. I was delighted; I knew this would be good! I sat with my feet in warm water, energy flowing through me, around me, and into the wash basin. Energy is life — movement — and like water, it’s important to let it move on. Stagnant, congested energy washed from my body. Let the river wash me clean and refill me with vibrant energy! I had arrived at a new place and was ready to discover it.
More Bach Flower Essences, familiar and new ones. Claudia said, “Cheryl, you are brave. You completed all three sessions. Many people come to the first session and never return. Despite the painfulness of your first session, you came back and it was better. You stayed with it. Your energy is lighter, your emotional state is much better.”
I agree — for me, all three were necessary; it felt right and nurturing. As with all healing, the true healing happens after the body is cleared. It can now sustain itself in a healthier way spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically, restoring the body’s ability to regenerate itself.
A journey through cancer is difficult; it’s hard to deal with my own concerns. It is frustrating to deal with loved ones who are afraid and want me to follow the traditional way. However, my path has never been the worn trail; mine is about cutting a new path. As my Spiritual Guides said to me not so long ago when I was bemoaning the difficulty of being continually in the “unknown,” “You agreed to be a pioneer! We did not say it would be easy.” They are right.
I’m very grateful Claudia’s on my healing team. She’s a trained psychologist who studied and practiced in Mexico, Switzerland and now in Minnesota. Her current practice is Azteca Massage [www.aztecamassage.com]. She’s a wise, talented healer and now my friend. She joins me on this journey along with the other healers (see Edge Magazine, April and May editions).
Listen to Edge contributor Cheryl Hiltibran describe her journey on the archived Edge Talk Radio program “Innerviews” with Cathryn Taylor by clicking here: http://tiny.cc/az5ucw
Copyright © 2012 Cheryl Hiltibran. All Rights Reserved.