An Experience of Oneness

It was a beautiful spring morning. The sunrise floated above the ocean horizon like a huge citrus orange in a pink sky. The sweet scent of ocean air filled my lungs as I unlocked the door at a catamaran factory in San Clemente in Southern California. A co-worker and I began preparing the shop for production. Shortly afterwards, I felt a headache come on. It puzzled me, because I rarely got headaches. As I stabilized myself, holding onto one of the fiberglass molds, I massaged my forehead with the fingers of my right hand. And, that’s when my life changed forever.

Suddenly, a brilliant light illuminated the darkness in my mind. It was as if a huge searchlight had been turned on, and blazed through the center of my vision, like a radiant full moon bursting forth into the night sky. I gasped and physically felt the breath rush out of my lungs. A wave of energy rushed up my spine. As I observed the vision, fear dissipated into astonishment, and astonishment into childlike wonder. Where a moment before there was darkness, now there was inner light. White light. I couldn’t understand it, and I couldn’t deny it.

The Light was contained within the circle, a luminous pearl white light, perfectly circular, surrounded by a deep blue background, and did not radiate into the blue. Its edges were razor sharp, making an unmistakable contrast of white Light against deep blue. The perfect circle of light looked like a communion host at a Roman Catholic Mass (my former religion). The Light was not a harsh like the noonday sun, yet brilliant, yet soft. It filled my entire inner horizon, and displayed three distinct qualities: Invincible Power, Ineffable Love, Radiant Intelligence.

Once this acknowledgment had taken place, I enjoyed an experience of endless pure pleasure. A full range of indescribable feelings of bliss and joy swept over me like waves on a beach. There was no sense of striving or competition any more. There was no lack of anything. The yearning for greener pastures which had occupied so much of my life was gone. Fear and loneliness ceased to exist. In fact, all negative qualities were gone, annihilated. This caused an overwhelming sense of relief. Into the void came perfect contentment, profound peace, an overpowering sense of infinity, eternity, immortality; oneness, unity, liberty, freedom, holiness, bliss and unconditional love. It felt as if the whole of creation was contained within the Light, and I belonged to the Presence. I had come home.

There within my mind’s eye beamed an amazing bold brilliance, hauntingly familiar to me. It felt like we knew each other, yet became separated somehow. For the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to be utterly free, to feel ineffable joy, to be totally accepted, and to be in the presence of unconditional Love.

There wasn’t a hint of criticism or rebuke or judgment. Within its Presence, I beheld evidence of a higher Intelligence that did not behold me as subservient, inferior or sinful — rather an equal, a partner. It was the ultimate in sharing.

As I gazed at its lustrous beauty of absolute purity and wisdom, my whole being merged with the Presence in unity. I felt naked before it, as if it could read my every thought, knew my every secret, yet welcomed and accepted me with open arms as I was, regardless of all my faults and weaknesses. It was the most exquisite splendor I have ever witnessed — beyond compare. Words and language fail miserably to portray its potency and significance. It was an astonishing revelation that shattered all of my previous social-religious-philosophical concepts and conditioning.

Then, as if a dear friend had to leave, the Presence of Light slowly faded from my view, and left an irrevocable impression for the rest of my life. The whole experience lasted only a few brief, but precious, moments. That’s another peculiarity of the Inner Light experience: Time stands still. It ceases to exist as we know it. There was no past, no future. Only the eternal now exists. Within the presence of its motionless tranquility, only It survives.