When I was 5 years old I went through a very violent experience. During that experience a large white wolf, visible to me but no one else, came and stood over me where I lay. I curled my spirit self up into him, burying my head in his fur. Instead of smelling the vile smells of violence, my nostrils filled with the clean clear scent of arctic winds. Long white fur tickled my face. I pushed into the downy undercoat, comforting and warm. I listened to his strong heart beat rather than the sounds of violence. He protected me. He could not stop what was happening, but he took care of me throughout the ordeal, and when it was over, showed me what to do and how to get home.
That wolf has been my guide and companion ever since. He accompanies me now on every shamanic journey I take, and sits by my side as I assist others in their own healing.
Once when participating in a guided visualization, I turned off the leader’s path and went out into the Universe instead. Suddenly I saw a very specific landscape: a road with a small, peculiarly shaped hill next to it. Two large golden wolves were standing in the road. It was a brief, powerful and memorable flash.
Years later, my partner and I moved up north to a home by Lake Superior. One day I felt a sudden desire to go for a drive and explore unfamiliar back roads, so we set out. After an hour or so of delightful woods, winding this way and that, my partner turned from one road onto the next, and I gasped!
“This is where I saw the wolves!”
That exact moment a huge golden wolf stepped out in front of our car. He stood and stared into my eyes as his mate passed behind him and crossed the road. He stared and stared and stared. We heard a car coming and he walked into the woods. We drove down the hill, but when the car passed, the wolf came back out on the road. I turned in my seat, resting my head on my folded arms. The wolf and I stared and stared and stared into each other’s eyes. When another car came along behind us we went our separate ways.
A few years later my partner and I, arriving home late at night, saw a beautiful tall wolf in our yard. We pulled into the drive. He came near our car and caught my eye. He bowed down, folding his legs underneath at the elbow and lowering his head. Then he left.
The next morning I went out to see his paw prints in the light snow, and found huge prints showing he had been pacing in our yard for a while, seemingly waiting for us to get home.
When I went back inside I had the urge to turn on the TV. There was a wolf bowing the exact bow I had witnessed the night before! It is a bow of gratitude and respect. The wolf in the PBS special laid the leg of a caribou in front of its alpha couple, then backed away and bowed.
Soon after that I began to see a lone white wolf hanging around our home. At night I would feel its presence pull me out of a deep sleep, and I would get up and look out my window to find it staring at me. It looked like it was made of moonlight.
Wolf is my family, my pack. Wolf is my teacher, my protector, my mentor. I am so utterly, profoundly, wonderfully grateful for this loving relationship. I pray for their protection every day. I commune with them every day. I love them and they love me. They love the planet, and they love humans, despite all of the violent intent pointed at them now and through the centuries.
I hope you will join me in this season of thanksgiving and whisper a prayer of gratitude and respect for them, ushering in a fully awake relationship of good will towards them from all human beings everywhere.