Recently a young woman named Karyn came to visit Minnesota. Her career brought her back here. She had been my daughter Jenni’s nanny. They were five years apart in age so they really were friends, even went to the same school.
Karyn and I had set up a day and time to meet at a restaurant in Minneapolis. I was so very excited to see Karyn, because when Jen was 14 we moved to Central Minnesota and we had lost track of Karyn.
Jen died in 2003, and that left such a big hole in my life. As I awoke the day when I was to see Karyn again after such a long time, I spoke to Jen saying, “Won’t it be great to see her, Jenni? I wonder how she looks and what her life has turned out to be?”
I always meditate to get my day started right. I meditated on the patio that day and felt refreshed and so very happy. I even heard the cardinals and robins singing.
On my drive into the Cities, I thought of the old days and especially on what a hard life Karyn and her brothers and sisters had had. She never told us that they went to bed hungry, with no dinner. Our family always liked to invite as many of the kids as possible to eat at our home, because they were great kids. It was fun to feel like we had a large family around the table again, never realizing that they were so hungry.
Those years were when we would go for walks with the kids and do little things along the way, like pick up feathers, rocks, pretty stones and really neat things. I didn’t know they meant so much to them.
When I got to the restaurant I sat in the car for a moment and thought of Jenni and how I missed her. Wondering what had happened to her on her journey. As I got out of the car and began to lock it, a black feather with a white tip drifted down onto the hood. I looked above and saw no birds flying overhead, and none were even nearby. I picked up the feather and examined it. You see, Jen was one-quarter Cherokee, so for me this was a sign that Jen was giving me a blessing, “Heads up, Mom!” Smiling, I put it on the dashboard and locked the car.
I had a great time with Karyn. I showed her pictures of Jen and told her what happened to us after we had moved from Champlin. She told me about her husband and children in South Carolina and we looked at her pictures. We spoke of her career and of how she had grown into such a beautiful woman.
She had to get back to her meeting, so we said goodbye and left each other with a huge hug and the promise to see each other next year if possible.
I smiled and realized that I had that good feeling in my core. Seeing the sunshine and blue skies, I walked to my car still savoring our meeting, and then my thoughts changed. I began thinking of my drive back home through the afternoon traffic. We all know what that feels like!
I unlocked my car, and as I turned to get into the car, I looked up at the tree I had parked under and saw another a black feather with a white tip drift down. I looked up and again saw nothing above the car, and I didn’t see anything unusual around the tree. Now, one feather was awesome, but two seemed out of the ordinary!
My “ah-ha” moment was realizing that my connection to my daughter was well and in working order and was validated. Jen had left me an angel note — two feathers — one for me and one for her, a remembrance of that beautiful day.
The asking I bring forth from within me is always this: “Let me see what I cannot see with my eyes. Let me hear what I cannot hear with my ears.” Some bird was singing a concert that day.