You can never be happy if you cannot forgive. The truth is if you can’t forgive, somewhere inside, you will always be a victim to your own anger, hurt or fear.
No one better learned the art of forgiveness than a client of mine, named Thea. One morning, her doorbell rang and she was surprised to find a representative from her mortgage company. He said, “Your house is being foreclosed, you have four days to move out.” She was shellshocked. She later learned that her husband had been hiding foreclosure statements for the past four months. He’d also had been pretending to go to work for almost a year, after he’d been fired. If that wasn’t enough, he hadn’t paid taxes for the past seven years and had falsified tax documents — criminal fraud.
Their marriage ended within hours. For the next two years, Thea had to deal with the emotional fallout of divorce, major deception, unforgiving bank executives, and the ruthlessness of the IRS. There was more than one day she didn’t want to live. After a year of putting out one fire after another, she finally got around to dealing with the rage and devastation that consumed her. That’s when she came to see me for energy healing. She needed to begin the process of forgiveness.
However, for Thea, forgiveness wasn’t what she thought. It’s not exactly like when the priest forgives the confessor. Genuine forgiveness is something completely different. It’s more like a disconnection of energy.
The best way to release the underlying emotions, associated with the need to forgive, is in deep states of relaxation or meditation. It’s where the magic of healing lives. Once you’re in deep mediation, difficult emotions can be released with a little practice. That’s where the world of relaxation evolves into mastery.
As simple and ludicrous as this may sound, when you’re deeply relaxed, you simply let it go. However, emotional release is a learned skill and almost the opposite of other skills we learn in life. It’s the art of deeply doing nothing. By focusing on the emotion and surrendering to the experience, it will let go. That’s because when emotions are fully experienced, they dissipate and dissolve. Most people will feel them lift off and out of their body.
If you want to see if this method actually works, try a simple exercise. Just think of the person you’re trying to forgive. If you don’t feel any pain, horror or anger, chances are that you’re done.
Did it work for Thea? You bet. However, it wasn’t easy. But at age 50, she started her life over by reaching down and pulling up her bootstraps. She also discovered her inner executive and went on to a very successful career; something she would never have done if her life hadn’t fallen apart.
By working with Thea, I was fortunate to witness the Top Five Reasons Forgiveness Will Make You Happy. Practicing forgiveness will:
- Heal unresolved emotions. That includes the emotional residue left over from why you need to forgive someone. Plus, you will be free from a chronic, underlying level of stress you probably didn’t know you had.
- End repeating patterns of pain. Pain is born to be experienced. When it is, it will dissipate. When it isn’t, it will create repeating scenarios to experience that pain, until it finally gets its due attention and is set free. Forgiveness will release those painful emotions. When that happens, the repeating patterns will stop.
- Disconnect you from a negative relationship. When forgiveness is complete you will no longer be energetically or emotionally attached to the perpetrator. That means the energy that was tied up in that relationship is now free to use for something far better.
- Create Freedom. Forgiveness is freedom. When emotions are healed, repeating patterns are ended, and you’re disconnected from a negative relationship, you will experience a sense of emotional freedom from the past you never knew was possible.
- Solidify Empowerment. Forgiveness doesn’t happen without effort, intention and focus. When you take the necessary steps and take charge of your own emotional situation, it will create an unshakable sense of personal dignity. That elevated self-esteem will support a life filled with purpose , meaning and happiness.