kai-wide
The words spoken make perfect sense
I do understand what they are saying.
Yet, the mission was to always protect her
And never yield, no matter the cost.
Then, the question was asked,
“What are you protecting her from?”
And I couldn’t easily provide the answer.
The only words I could remember were,
“Protect her at all costs.”
So what is it that I am protecting her from?
From getting hurt?
From the ridicule and sarcasm poured upon her growing up?
That’s been taken care of…the past has been changed
She perfectly capable of kicking ass on her own,
You’ve seen her do it
You’ve allowed her to do it.
Then why keep her caged in?
Have you realized that you are no longer needed to protect her?
“You’re on the wrong mission”
The words seep in and the defenses tighten
Yet you know the words ring true.
So very, very true.
Could it be that you’ve completed the mission and your tour of duty is over?
Those telling the prisoner that she is free are unable to convince her the war is over
Because you keep whispering behind them that they are all trying to trick her
And she is safer in your protection.
I tell you, now,
Know that by allowing her to go free that you, too, are also free
Free of the chains and haunting memories
That no longer exist.
Your pain keeps her hidden
Release that pain by releasing her
Hand over the key
And you will see
It’s all that is standing between you and
Free.

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Vanatta Ka'i is a student and Depth Worker under the tutelage of Hanakia Ek-Way Zedek, an urban shaman and spiritual teacher. Hanakia coined a term for those that choose to go to the depths of self: Depth Worker. We are the explorer of the Unknown, not settling for what we have been told is the Truth, rather seeking out our own Truth from within. This collection of poems takes you on my journey, or at least part of my journey, into those depths. Each poem has become a paver to mark where I was and what I was working through, taking me to a depth I had not experienced and unraveling the twisted mess of old beliefs and programming.

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