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tudor-wide
Dear Roadblock,

I know well how weak you are. I’ve been watching you, and I know how you grow. You come into my life first as discomfort. A sense of disconnection, followed by doubt. Doubt is followed by fear, which is my weak spot, and you think you win. You don’t. From a deeper place, I watch as you try to take over.

Though you hate stillness and try to not allow me any, you have failed. I can still find my stillness, layered within. From here, I can see a clear picture of life, and can see you, dear roadblock, as a small wall made of dust. I can see through you. I can already see what it will be like when you blow away. I can feel the peace underneath your momentary presence. I am that peace. You are nothing.

Though you try to blind me, I can still see. I look at myself and realize what it means to be alive. Love sustains me, moment by moment, and it is impossible to be apart from it for even a fraction of a second.

Roadblock, you try to convince me that I am alone in this desolate landscape, left to be haunted and torn down by you. Do you not realize that the love which sustains me also sustains you? There is no opposite of this love — not even you, Roadblock. You are a dream gone bad, a nightmare from which I will soon awaken.

You wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for me dreaming. And I wouldn’t exist if I wasn’t sustained by Love.

Deep within is a constant prayer. Om. Om. Om. It is a prayer wheel ever spinning, a song my heart will never cease to sing to the Universe. Or is it the Universe singing it to itself? Whatever power I have, whatever it is that I am, is driven by this prayer. It is the prayer. I am the prayer. The thin layer of clouds that this Roadblock has painted over my eyes will soon vanish, and all will be left will be the prayer.

That is certainty. That is truth.

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Jo Tudor-Roley is a student, mother and meditator. Finding this practice has completely changed her life, and she dedicates her life to expressing gratitude for these insights.

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