My Journey from Superwoman to Creative Goddess

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So many women have learned how to be Superwoman these days. We learn to thrive on constantly caring for others, producing in a masculine fashion, and being so busy that we don’t have the time to ask the deeper questions or tend to the soul journey. I have always been a seeker of spiritual truth and personal growth. I woke up three years ago and found myself on a journey to reclaim my feminine nature.

I had become the buttoned-up corporate success, the woman who was able to work 80 hours a week and rarely slept, and the woman who had lost so much of herself that she spent every day in the agony of deep emptiness and grief that she could not explain. I was separated from myself so significantly that I became physically ill. And I began a journey to reclaim my Divine Feminine nature, though I had no idea I was doing that at the time.

The journey to reclaim my Divine Feminine brought to light many aspects of my life that were missing or untended. I hated my physical body and had no sense of inner beauty, because I didn’t fit the ideal standard of beauty in our American pop culture. I thought that the only way I had value was based on producing a lot and making great money in my work. I was so dependent on the opinion of others that I had bent, twisted and stretched in every direction trying to please others and keep them happy. I never made time for the things that mattered to me because I was always banking on that magic someday when I could finally have a life that truly mattered to me. I was rarely, if ever, speaking my truth in the world or sharing my sensitive nature, and I certainly was not taking time to take care of myself. I was completely empty and disenchanted with the daily grind. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and lost. And a deep yearning I couldn’t understand grew inside of me, begging for my attention.

I started the arduous journey of leaving behind the behaviors and patterns I had grown to rely on and fell into the deep abyss of darkness, uncertainty, grief and confusion. Though harrowing, it turns out that this combination was the perfect incubator for reclaiming the Divine Feminine.

I found pieces of my shadow reintegrating after years of separation and suppression. I started speaking my truth and trusting in my own experience. I trusted my intuition. I started to really understand what it means to care deeply for oneself on every level. I stopped waiting for someone to save me. I stopped punishing myself for being sensitive and started listening to and acknowledging the myriad of emotions that arose in my experience. I started looking for more ways to be in community with others because I was surrounded by people and still felt completely alone. I delved deeper into the mysteries of my spiritual journey and asked myself the questions that were long overdue. I welcomed back my playfulness, wild side, daydreamer, sexual goddess, creative, and a host of other parts of myself that I had dissected or discarded over the years. I learned for the first time how to tend to the rhythms and cycles of my feminine nature. I became comfortable with the periods of rest and turning inward followed by outward, creative expression. I started dressing in a way that celebrated the fullness of who I am and I was no longer hiding my powerful goddess nature. I became comfortable taking in and receiving attention, nourishment of all kinds, and the energy of the world in a whole new way.

I hear the stories of women every day who are disconnected from their Divine Feminine nature. It’s an epidemic in our society. Fortunately, our feminine nature empowers us to reach out to one another in conversation, compassion and concern, to tend and create together.

May we each elevate one another to own our Divine Feminine gifts of love, connection, receiving, creativity, intuition, beauty, purpose, mystery, nurturing and untamed wildness.

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