These things are “real” for me: tears — of my own, my family and my clients; loving and playing with my dogs (for the sheer purity of their souls); sitting outside getting some sun (I am a Leo after all); believing in myself rather than doubting my capabilities; believing that God/Goddess has a bigger plan that I just can’t see.
By sharing these experiences, we can allow others to feel more vulnerable and open to doing likewise, thus creating a more harmonious society.
Here are ways to live more authentically:
- Tell the truth, not a version of the truth, even when it’s painful.
- Going for respect rather than “like.”
- Allowing someone to struggle, knowing this is how we learn.
- Working every day to make someone feel good.
- Not living by societal convention — eating when hungry, not worrying if it’s a traditional meal time, and going to bed when tired, not worrying if it’s too early or late. Do what your body tells you.
- Be a teacher not a preacher (which is ironic, as I’m ordained). Share knowledge with others, but don’t force it on them! Wisdom is like a family meal; those can take what they want and do with it what they please. Force feeding isn’t socially graceful!
- Make choices based on your values, rather than what you have time for.
- Putting down my devices when interacting socially and being in that moment.
- Being honest with my boundaries, both personally and professionally.
- Sharing my opinion if asked, and if I feel strongly about the topic.
- Working on acceptance rather than judgment.
- Own up to your screw ups, take accountability.
- Trust your intuition.
- Be consistent.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Accepting compliments and praise when deserved (with humility amd grace, of course)
- Sharing gratitude with others
- Reveling in others’ success.
- Working toward an understanding rather than a “win.”
Here are ways to deal with those who are less than authentic:
- Don’t engage or react.
- Remember that we are all walking a different path, and therefore see things differently.
- Let them know you appreciate their conviction, although you are in a different place.
- Walk away.
- Feel compassion instead of anger.
- Avoid those whom you identify as inauthentic.
- Realize that inauthentic folks are typically very lonely at their core, as they don’t know or trust themselves, so they are malleable to every encounter, constantly changing and rarely knowing their true selves. As such, that’s something to be pitied.
- Have a heart-to-heart talk with them if absolutely necessary and don’t hold back (then you’d be being inauthentic).
- Stop trying to make them happy! Realize that you may have to put the relationship on pause for everyone to regroup and get healthy.
- Realize that inauthenticity comes from fear and the need of approval.
