As the dynamic of our society evolves, it is crucial to step back into the space of unconditional love, both individually and collectively. With the ways in which technology (among other things) is transforming our lifestyles, we are finding that people are feeling lonelier and more isolated. Humans long for deep, meaningful connection, which makes it important to examine our current relationships before we start to step into and build new ones.
Relationships help us grow by reflecting to us that which we need to be made conscious of and areas where there may need to be more awareness. What are we receiving, giving and creating with the people around us? The basis of any relationship needs unconditional love, and we need to separate our expectations, beliefs and fear-based energy (anger, jealousy, resentment) and see each person as a piece of ourselves. We also need to afford them the same courtesies that we ourselves long for: patience, appreciation, understanding, love, and support.
Each person deserves to be separate from their past, pain, projections, mistakes and judgments. We need to see each other for what we are: As another being engaging in life and experimenting with form, desire and contrast. Everyone is simply expressing themselves and trying to make something from where they are and what they have.
Unconditional love means we can see another being without our own judgments, beliefs and fears projected onto the other. We can hold a space beyond everything else and just love them without conditions being attached. And when we unconditionally love ourselves, it means we can distance ourselves from people we are in relationships with — who are no longer in our, or their, highest good — and continue to love them from afar. We can hope the absolute best for them because they are human, just like us — no better, no worse. We do not have to continue a relationship that doesn’t serve us to continue to be unconditional in our love.
To be unconditional in relationships, it is important to first love ourselves without conditions. When we can do this, loving others unconditionally becomes easier. We all deserve unconditional love from those around us; we are worthy of it. But we are first and foremost worthy of this from ourselves. For some people, that is the hardest loving relationship to embrace.
Forgiving is another big milestone in letting go of conditions. Forgiveness is moving beyond the situation, and the stories and beliefs about the circumstances. It is not saying you agree with someone’s actions, that they are getting away with something, or that you are sweeping it under the rug. Nor is it saying one party is right and the other wrong. Forgiving someone is letting go of the blame, and your projection of the expectation onto the other person. It is returning the responsibility of another’s actions and allowing you to let go and move forward.
Unconditional love goes beyond words, but in relationships communication can be a key component. To really afford someone the honor of listening and making a safe space for sharing is an incredible gift we can provide. Communication from a space of love and truth can positively shift relationships significantly. Not just speaking but communicating thoughts, needs, desires, and emotions in an authentic way can be transformative.
Be unconditionally present and patient in relationships. Be there for others and allow them to be there for you. Remember to be observant and responsive instead of reactive to the circumstances.
All relationships are about partnership. It’s a balance of giving and receiving — and when we can let go of the conditions we think we need, and believe we want, we see the limits of the relationship fall away and freedom within the relationship blossom.
To shift our relationships back into a space of peace, harmony and cooperation comes from a place of unconditional love for ourselves and then spirals out from us and effects everyone we touch. All relationships then have a foundation of trust, acceptance and collaboration. It takes healing and patience, but this is the way towards being unconditional in our relationships.