The simple, but profound, words of Eckhart Tolle (author of The Power of Now) often come back to me like a song that replays in my head. I hear him remind me to not attach myself to the many thoughts that sometimes flood my mind. I hear him tell me not to believe these thoughts. And so I let these worries and fears float on by, in and out of my mind, allowing me to remain peaceful, choosing not to jump into the next drama that beckons me like a narcotic from the further reaches of the beyond.
A few moments later, I think of my checking account balance and my brain begins to silently calculate bill payments, subtracting from the latest deposit and allowing an extra hundred or so for unexpected spending and then arriving at a figure that is not at all comfortable to think about. It is at this point when I realize that, without awareness, I had just done what I had vowed that I wouldn’t do [attached myself to a thought in my head] and the point that hit home was how effortless the whole process truly seemed to be.
One moment peaceful. The next moment, overloaded with numbers in my mind, the body beginning to panic about the timing of deposits and whether or not checks would clear in time. It was at that point that I realized what was happening, and I narrowly avoided an endless loop of inner dialogue on the struggle of living check-to-check, conversations within my head that usually lead to headaches and needless worry…because everything always works out.
Last night while googling to put myself asleep, I read an interesting quotation by Carly Fiorina, former president of Hewlett-Packard. It goes like this: "In bullfighting there is a term called querencia. The querencia is the spot in the ring to which the bull returns. Each bull has a different querencia, but as the bullfight continues, and the animal becomes more threatened, it returns more and more often to his spot. As he returns to his querencia, he becomes more predictable. And so, in the end, the matador is able to kill the bull because instead of trying something new, the bull returns to what is familiar. His comfort zone."
Each of us has our own querencia, our own comfort zone where we continually return. It may not be a physical place, as in the case of the bull, but a mindset – a very special place for each of us that makes us feel protected, like our first blanket. It gives us permission to eat more than we should, or drink more than we should, or gamble more than we should, or do whatever it is that takes us as far away as possible from that which is threatening, from that which seems to be attacking us. Like the bull, we return to our comfort zone instead of trying something new.
Instead of walking on the beach and getting sand in your shoes, which you absolutely cannot stand, you stay off the beach and watch from afar. Instead of leaving the job that is miles from where your passion truly lies, you get up again each morning and tell yourself that today will be different. And instead of ignoring the fearful thoughts going through your mind [because they are so tempting…they take you to your querencia] and choosing something new, you attach yourself to them and settle in for an unsettling ride in your mind as you ponder possibilities that do nothing but create disharmony in every fiber of your being.
I know what that is like, and so do you. My intention is to be more aware of these thoughts that pass through my mind and more determined than ever to let them just pass on by. I am choosing peace is this moment.
