One of the greatest challenges of Life Coaching is to put our own agenda aside and let the client show us the path they choose to take. It is easy to fall into the trap of rescuing our client instead of really believing that they are strong, intelligent and competent individuals who can take charge of their own life. I realized early on that telling a client what to do was sending the message that I did not believe they were capable of reaching for their dreams and making them a reality.
This led me on a search within myself to try to understand why I felt I had to “fix” my client. My niche in Coaching has been to work with clients who come from destructive family patterns and have decided to embrace changes in their life that would bring them peace. The choices they make often involve deeply emotional issues, lifestyle changes and behavioral aspects, as well. This work often uncovers reasons for health issues, troubled interactions and communication with others, and wounds that have never healed properly.
The benefit for me was that I am constantly forced to check my own boundaries and challenges so that I do not impede their progress. I would like to share a prayer I sent to my Creator during one of those times when I realized my own issues were playing out, and I had to step back and refer my client to someone else because I was concerned that I was projecting my “stuff” onto the client. This can be a bold move, since we have built a relationship based on trust. Sometimes that trust asks us to let go instead of holding on and thinking we can do more or our client will feel betrayed by us. Knowing when to let go from unconditional love is sometimes the best move for the greatest good.
I wish you well on your personal journey….
My Prayer for Me to God
I choose to create myself as healthy in mind, body and soul.
I will not spend my time pointing my finger at others because of what I lack in me, nor will I make myself less to accommodate another so they can feel better about themselves at my expense.
I will release them from my life with my heartfelt wishes for their health and happiness, but I will not stunt my growth to accommodate their fears.
I will appreciate qualities I admire in others, because in order to recognize them, I must already possess them.
I will be compassionate toward another who is struggling with destructive and critical behaviors, and recognize them as those attributes in myself, as well.
I will work to find the blessings in any situation to bring the best forward, and leave the least behind as a learning experience.
I will treat myself at least as well as I treat others.
I will not measure myself by another’s standard; they do not know my heart, or how I have become the person I am.
I know that You alone understand and hold my true measure. Hurtful comments and actions are reflections of their personal journey, and are not mine to manage or fix. They have the same opportunities of Your grace and mercy; we are all Your children – one is no more or less than another.
I will take responsibility for my words and actions, but will not accept blame, shame or guilt because another chooses to reject their responsibility. It is not my work to fulfill another’s expectation from me for their happiness. We each have our own vision for our life, fulfillment, and happiness, and we must make the choices that bring us to the creation of that vision.