Have you made any New Year’s resolutions? As Dr. Phil might ask, “And how’s that been working for you?” If you are like most people, New Year’s resolutions do not last more than a few days or weeks. Health clubs thrive on people signing up to begin a new regime after eating rich desserts over the holidays. Yet, many members cease going to the club after a short time, often more exasperated than when they began, compounded by self-judgment for not following through.
So if New Year’s resolutions flop for most people, how can you actually move ahead in your life and make your life better?
The key is to understand two universal principles: First, there are no right angles in nature. People create right angles in rooms and houses, but that was not God’s idea for nature. If you take a walk in the forest, you will see that everything grows and moves in a curve, or gradually. Take a carpenter’s square and hold it up to any plant, tree, or river, and you will find no perfect squares — only curves. Even tall straight trees move out from the earth in a small gradual slope.
Everything changes in steps. So when you decide you are going to lose 20 pounds as soon as possible, you are trying to bypass the natural change process. If you are going to lose weight, you will do better to plan to lose one pound first, and then move on from there. You can target to lose 20 pounds, but you will not do it in one shot. No one ever has, and you will not be the first. (You can get liposuction, but it’s far more natural to melt weight as you shift your consciousness.)
Instead of going for your New Year’s resolution, go for New Year’s evolution. You change your life by shifting your thoughts, which usually occurs in stages. Sometimes you might have a quantum leap and everything changes overnight. Such a change is wonderful when it occurs, but it can rarely be engineered. People who try to make quantum leaps usually have to go back and build their consciousness to match the change they are trying to make. Everything comes to you not by forced action, but awakened mind. When your consciousness grows to be equivalent to your goal, the object of your intention will come to you naturally and often easily, and you will really own it.
The second universal principle that will help you make real change is this: Growth occurs not on a ladder, but in a spiral. If you are trying to walk or drive up a steep mountain, you will generally do better to ascend by either circling the mountain, rising in progressively smaller circles, or by way of a switchback, which goes back and forth in gradual movements. Then you will not be exhausted when you arrive, and you minimize the chances of plummeting down a steep precipice.
Remember, too, when making your New Year’s resolution or evolution, that the premise from which you begin will determine where you end up. If you begin with a faulty premise, you will not get anywhere. It is said, “Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.” You can indeed get wherever you want to go, but if the thought that originally drove you is erroneous, it will not lead you to anywhere you really want to go.
If, for example, you feel desperate to find a soulmate, have a baby or win on “American Idol” to prove your talent, and you decide that you are going to do it this year no matter what, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and sabotaged results. Any act that proceeds from desperation will only increase your sense of desperation. Never do anything because you feel desperate. Desperation is an interpretation, not a fact. Act from strength, wholeness, and confidence, and you will attain results far superior to any that desperation has ever wrought.
If you would like a soulmate, baby or the American Idol title, proceed from a sense of joy, fullness, celebration and vision. Know that you can have what you deserve, but you have to own it inside yourself first. You have to know that you are worthy of your goal and that the universe can and will provide it without you having to struggle, strain, or sacrifice to get it. Then the good things your heart desires will show up as a natural byproduct of your consciousness, not a substitute for it.
One final note on your goals for the coming year: Seek experiences more than objects. In addition to your “to do” list, or instead of it, create a “to feel” list or a “to be” list. In wanting a new car, relationship partner or promotion, you are really seeking to feel the good feelings you expect such things and events will bring you. If you got the person or the thing but not the experience, you would still feel hungry. But if you set your intention on the quality of experience, and that comes, the way and form in which it arrives will not be important. You will succeed because of something that happens inside you, not outside.
We are on to a bright new year — the best ever. Life always goes from good to better to best to off the charts. May this year bring you all of your heart’s desires, one blessed gift at a time. You will have everything you want, and it will come in the perfect way.