Twin pillars of relationship

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Every relationship is an echo of the soul’s relationship with Source, the foundation of existence and love. Existence as a finite being only happens in relationship to the Divine. Our relationships with each other reflect that reality.

When we see the Divine in ourselves and others, we affirm our own existence. When we see others as of significance only in relationship to our own needs or wants, then we ultimately affirm the conditionality of our own existence. Such a relationship is not tenable, not stable. It must change, through discovery and growth, or escape and avoidance.

The two of us have come together in alignment with our individual soul purposes. We came together 23 years ago with explicit, conscious angelic intervention, and were married within the year. The stability in our relationship arises from our own individual commitment to our spiritual purposes — individual and conjoint. We can break our relationship with each other only by breaking our relationship with our own souls.

Not all human relationships are so preordained. We each had been married twice previously. We know now that those relationships ended appropriately for our own personal benefit, and the benefit of the other persons, as well. A clear view of our own lives leads us to an understanding that judging others on the basis of the permanence of their own commitments to a particular relationship is not a fruitful exercise.

What we can say from our own experience is that each person’s relationship with their own soul is primary. Soul will never lead anyone to harm another. Soul, however, may lead a person to act in a way outside the normal expectations or standards of present human culture.

In a stable, committed relationship, the love each feels for the other comes from soul level. It transcends ego, selfish interests and societal norms. Unconditional love creates the union. Each person’s soul purpose sets the boundaries. No one is swallowed up or lost in the union.

Such a relationship usually happens in the later years of our lives, for it takes time to escape the enculturation from our families of origin. And it requires independence of thought and action to escape the expectations of the roles of adulthood.

We say, then, to younger folks who are seeking meaningful relationships: find your own soul, and act in accord with what you find. And to the mature: find your own soul, and act in accord with what you find.

We do not wish to denigrate the contributions of psychology, and the understandings of interrelationship, needs, projections, conflict resolution, communication, etc. These are very significant in every relationship, and relationships may play themselves out very differently, dependent upon each participant’s awareness of such principles. However, when a person is in touch with their own soul, the rich ground of a loving relationship will become a source of learning about self and other that is far more reliable than psychological knowledge transmitted through books.

And can a relationship itself become a path to soul awareness for each participant? Indeed, it is the primary path. Our relationships with our parents are certainly harbingers of our own relationship with the deeper aspects of ourselves. And, clearly, in our primary, adult, loving relationships, we can transcend our childhood wounds.

How, then, do we find our own souls with the help of our partners? When we can each see the Divine in each other, we can more easily find the Divine in ourselves. When we can find the Divine in ourselves, we can more easily find the Divine in our partners. Together, we pick ourselves up by our bootstraps.

How do we recognize that Divinity? When we can see unconditional love, in any of its stages of development. We can see it grow over time, in a deepening and broadening love, an awe-filled respect, an empathic caring and a soul-deepening commitment.

We know so many people without partners who are looking for that soulful relationship. For ourselves, we can claim it only as a gift. The answer is within your own soul. Use the longing to come closer to your soul, closer to the Divine. When we see with the eyes of our souls, gifts and abundance are never-ending.

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