Sensing his time on Earth was at its last moments, Sam took one last deep breath and braced himself for the ride. He began to feel a murring sensation in his feet that started slowly, crawling its way up his legs until his entire mid-section was vibrating with violent energy. The energy then surged upwards, forcing his eyes to stare straight up into his head. The pressure felt like the fastest roller coaster ever made; he almost couldn’t stand it anymore when…the ride stopped. He looked down again, but saw no body.
His awareness was now infinite, almost like being a flying eyeball that could see in all directions at once. The peace he felt was like floating in warm water with your ears submerged as you gently teeter along with the calming waves. A voice began to vibrate all around Sam – not in a hearing sense but in the way a guitar string must feel when you pluck it. Sam was the voice and the one hearing it.
The voice said, “Fear nothing, resist nothing.”
Sam wondered, “Is this God?”
Instantly the voice said, “I am you and you are me and the only reason we can have this dialogue is because you’re not ready to join the Light.”
Sam thought, “But God, what can I do if I go back down there? Every day seems to be getting worse and worse. What’s the point?”
God paused, and then what he said next changed everything.
“You fool. You completely missed the whole point of your life. You could have made it any way you wanted, but you chose fear. You chose to carve out your little comfort zone and stay safe while you let all my blessings pass you by. Don’t you think I know you were suffering? Why do you think I brought this upon you? I wanted to shake you out of your trance. Don’t you see that I made you in my image and, therefore, I have created a creator? You stopped creating when you fell asleep into the trappings of the human’s society. I created suffering to guide you, but you never woke up; you never broke the chains of illusion that fear (evil) causes. You made your life hell.”
“This means I’ve been asleep my whole life?” God stayed silent. Sam reflected further. “And if I would have just went for my idea of a perfect life, you would have had my back the whole time?”
God replied, “Through you I get to experience my own creation. Why would I want to feel the suffering that you decided to make real? Don’t you think I want to feel the radiant joy that’s possible within each one of you?”
Sam interrupted, “Then why don’t you just make us happy all the time so you can feel it?”
“Sam, freewill is the only way I can experience true feedback through you. Otherwise it’s like you’re holding a gun to someone’s head and then asking them to love you. Having no choice isn’t true love.”
“Damnit!,” Sam thought loudly. “I blew it. I blew my chances in life and now I’m this floating eyeball in the sky.”
God laughed. “You’re not an eyeball and you’re not in the sky, my son. Remember, I said that you weren’t ready to join the Light? I’m going to send you back to your so-called ‘miserable existence’ and see if you can figure it out. There’s just one catch: you won’t remember any of this. You’ll just remember seeing a light and some tunnel just like everyone else claims.”
“But why God? Why can’t I know?”
“Once again Sam, there is much glory in you eventually figuring it out for yourself. I will continue to send you clues in the form of suffering, and almost ‘dying’ usually serves as quite the wake-up call for most, so let’s just see how you do, my son.”
God sent Sam back into the world like a parent would send their child to the bus on the first day of school. All he could do now is have faith in the boy and hope that he wouldn’t attempt to end his own life ever again.