Obtain Self Love: The How To…


The most powerful generator of self-love is your soul. Your soul is eternal. Your soul is vast, unknowable, intelligent, comprehensive and visionary in its grasp of your life. Intuition is the voice of your soul, that small voice within that tells you what is true. Sometimes that voice is experienced as a feeling or gut reaction. At times we simply know what is right. When we ignore that voice, we regret and shake our heads saying, “I knew better.”

Connecting with your soul is easy. As you take a deep breath, through your intention, go into the doorway of your heart to communicate with your soul. We can access our soul through our heart center. Bring yourself to an inner place of calm and quiet by taking a few deep breaths. Focus upon your physical heart and be aware of your heartbeat. As you pay attention to your heartbeat, you receive your soul connection.

Focus. Think about what you want to know about your soul purpose or your physical health. What do you need from your all-knowing soul? Simply ask for what you need and wait for the answer. If you feel you receive no answer, then your life-learning process is still unfolding. You can increase your self-love by asking your soul to love you. Ask to experience the warm, radiant blush of the sweetness known as self-love. Bask in it, just as you would bask in the warmth of the sun.

Offer up any doubts of your worthiness to your soul and feel those doubts melt away. Ask your soul anything. When you receive an answer from your soul’s voice, you know truth.

Your body, right now, is the perfectly imperfect creation of your soul. Your soul loves your body and loves you. Ask your soul to increase your experience of self-love. Ask your soul for any physical healing you need. Once I asked my soul to lengthen my left tibia, the bone connecting my knee to my ankle, to be the same as my right tibia. My left tibia and fibula grew about an inch in three weeks. I know change can seem instantaneous. I also know we only hold on to patterns that we still need.

When you feel down and your self-esteem is low, embrace the feeling and tell yourself these feelings are a memory and do not belong to the Here and Now reality. Take a couple of deep breaths and feel your heart again. Ask your soul to vibrate those feelings out of your energy field. You do not have to know the story about where or how the difficult feelings came. You can simply release them.

Put one hand, either one, on your navel and the other on your heart, relax, release, and surrender the past into the present moment. From our mother’s womb, we know that the navel is the doorway to receive nurturing and love. We also release toxins and energies we don’t need through our navel. The navel connects us to a safe miracle tube that is suspended in the gravitational field between earth and moon. By placing your hands on your heart and your navel, you bask yourself in gravitational love you receive just because you are alive.

Self-love comes from being comfortable with your place in the whole of life. Self-love is consciousness that through gravity you are joined in a universal tapestry to every other soul on the planet. This tapestry knits us together to experience an evolutionary Now of transformation. Your soul takes her or his place and belongs to the inescapable embrace of Divine abiding love. You are never alone. We always belong with, but not to others.

Self-love is heart felt and living a heart-felt life. Through your beating heart, you find your way to live without mistakes and without judgment. By realizing whatever happens is a result of love, you can follow what feels right to you and know that you are going in the right direction. Your heart beats within the heart of God. You receive divine assistance simply by asking.


  1. Beautiful article Jaentra! And wonderful exercises for recovering our self-love.

    Isn’t it interesting that we live in an age when we must actually adopt a “routine” — ongoing techniques and practices — to bring us back into alignment with love. Self-love is something it seems we must re-learn.

    Our culture and our media certainly do little to support this learning. When our most popular TV shows are about losing the most weight, achieving stardom, being “made over,” etc., it’s clear just how far we are removed from any innate sense of self-acceptance. Most troubling here is the underlying message that this value is determined “out there,” by someone else (… perhaps a panel of celebrity judges), or by comparison to someone else or some “ideal.”

    And I think it is this mistaken assumption, this mindset, that makes it so difficult for us to recover our self-esteem. The problem being that we’re looking in the wrong place for it. Our sense of value is not derived from being better or having more. It’s not something we prove to or against someone else. Ultimately, “we” must determine that we’re valuable and worthy and enough. It is the “self” in self-esteem. When we surrender this decision to others or to comparisons with others or to old wounded memories, we have quite simply “moved away” from ourselves.

    And I think we “reacquire” ourselves only when we take back that decision. We find ourselves and begin to feed that starving self-esteem not by pushing ourselves even harder (until we are finally “fixed” or “enough” or “perfect”), but by treating ourselves and our path with patience and compassion. By remembering that we and our path are absolutely unique and absolutely sacred. And at every point on that path, we are held in love.

    As your article so wisely suggests, the soul never forgets this. So when our surrounding culture or our old wounded memories would suggest otherwise, I think we must “choose” to remember our value, as a service to ourselves. Often we must make this a deliberate practice — a conscious choice — to treat ourselves with patience, kindness, and compassion … to remind ourselves that we are worthy of love. And to realign ourselves with that greater love that never forgets.


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