My brain is being rearranged. I don’t know how to describe it any other way. I visualize the continual motion of a Rubik’s cube. Only with softer edges and more space in between each square. I don’t know if it is in regards to the “Western” way of thinking or thinking in general, but I feel the soft and continual pressure to loosen all structured thought.
It’s like I am being secretly seduced by a more wise lover into believing that all I ever dreamed of has only been waiting for me to open up and receive it. Expectedly and unexpectedly. He slowly, assuredly, teases me with exotic fruits, breathtaking flowers and foreign language. His name is Bali. (Ubud if you need a full name). And he wants my heart, body and soul to explode with love.
It seems as if anything is possible here. Even the air is pregnant with potential. There is a sensual energy that is constant; perhaps due to the daily feeding from the sun, like mother’s milk being given to a child for strength, for comfort, for love; or maybe it’s the downpours of rain that feel like a blanket of blessings falling from above, clearing all of the wasted time, wasted energy and wasted thought from each day; or the creativity that flows freely not only from the minds, bodies and souls of all who inhabit the island, but also from each offering, each building, each monument built with conscious intention and purpose.
In fact, it may have nothing to do with anything outside of myself. Perhaps it is due to my connection to the Divine which, for moments at a time, allows me to experience all through the eyes of Spirit within, marveling at what I have chosen to co-create.
My seducer captivates me daily with the lure of genuine connection between strangers that here is more of the norm than the unusual. Yesterday, someone told me of their very personal, very painful spiritual awakening – something that might take months or even years to talk about – between two people who have just met. It wasn’t a happy story, but in the end she believes it woke up a part of her that was sleeping.
I found myself saying that I believed that this was the work of the Bali Gods/spiritual realm. That if you are not willing to recognize your spiritual self and your connection to the whole (in no prescribed way, just recognition) then Bali would spit you out. You would not be welcomed here. I believe this to be true.
As I write this, I’ve just been shat upon by a gecko climbing the ceiling above me. Ha ha ha! Another message from my Seducer? “Don’t forget that you are also a human being and have chosen to experience this physical realm completely. Don’t just think it. See it, hear it, touch it, feel it.”
Today may be the day I surrender to you. To your flirtations. To your possibilities. To your many faces. Stay steady. Be patient. Don’t give up before I give in. The seduction is no longer a secret. I am watching, listening, feeling my way to you. The line between the one being seduced and the seducer is becoming faint.