My Five Year Anniversary


gratitude2There are things that move me, like music, dance, sunrises and sunsets. Since 1972, I have been on a spiritual journey. I had the blessing of a spiritual teacher, but my teacher passed away in 1993, and the absence of her wonderful loving energy and presence left a vacuum in my life. My source of advice and wisdom was gone, and I wandered.

In July 2002, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. The doctor told me that if I refused a mastectomy, or didn’t take Tamoxifen, the cancer would be back in five years. I did research, and learned that a known side effect of Tamoxifen is an increased risk of both uterine cancer and heart problems. The tumor was so tiny, less than the size of a pea; I refused to lose a breast to it. I believed I was strong enough to rise above it with a simple lumpectomy and holistic practice.

I had learned the power of our thinking and I held the thought, “I will not allow him to plant that seed in me. I will change my diet, look at the cup as half full rather than half empty, and hold faith.” I fought against the fear that rose, and steered my own unique course.

In 2004 I met “G,” a loving being of divine light, channeled through Soulaire, (formerly known as Lynn Young, author of the book Being.) I had finally found “home.” I felt the strong love connection, and began taking classes with her and the Soulful Journey. From Soulaire and “G,” I learned about our birthright of unconditional love, absolute absolution, co-creation and co-partnership.

The classes were filled with humor and love. Soulaire took me beyond the former teachings, and I realized how much we create our own lives with our words, thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. From her, and from “G,” I felt unconditional love with no agenda.

In late July 2007, a simple mammogram determined that what had been previously considered possible scar tissue in the left breast was indeed cancer, now the size of a double egg yolk. I refused to go back to the same doctor that had planted the seed. Again, the cancer was estrogen receptive and aggressive. I feared for my life. The new surgeon did not look optimistic. I was stage 4.

This time, there was a difference. I had met Soulaire and “G.” Because of their teachings and through my spiritual practice, my spiritual life, I had become aware of our power within us, that it is connected to One True Light Consciousness, the source of my learning, expanding, and growing as a spiritual being. I came to realize that I had been a bystander in my life, saying the words, but not going deep within.

In September 2007, on a healing table with “G,” he asked me, “What do you choose?”
Me: “Between what and what, ‘G?'”
“G”: Between life and…
Me: Between life and leaving the earth?
“G”: Yes.
Me: “I choose life, ‘G.'”
“G”: “Very good.” And he placed his hand on my left shoulder.

I hoped that he would completely remove the cancer, but the universe can only give us that which we create. My teacher is not of this world; my teacher is beyond that. And what I discovered is that I have created my own limitations because I was not really present in my life. I have become aware of how when one is human and on the spiritual journey, we still all have obstacles.

Although I was not able to save the breast this time, I lived. The surgeon came in after the surgery with a surprised, but pleasant, look on her face, saying I had done well, and that the lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer.

I celebrate five years of cancer free. I am more than a survivor. I have chosen life.

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Satail Tailin
Satail Tailin is co-owner of Bellaluna Boutique, a spiritual counselor, and pastor. She is also a ballroom and salsa dancer who loves to speak Spanish, and has traveled extensively.


  1. Enjoyed reading your journey. My mother went the holistic route also —her physician had told her unless she had radiation and chemo, she should just go home and she would be dead in 3 months. Her closeness with God and listening to her
    inner knowledge gave her 7 healthy years. Other circumstances caused her death at age 64. We have been given many more powers than we use for sure.
    I do admire your ability to listen to your own body (or whatever you call it).
    Showers of blessings. Julie B.


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