My Five Year Anniversary

There are things that move me, like music, dance, sunrises and sunsets. Since 1972, I have been on a spiritual journey. I had the blessing of a spiritual teacher, but my teacher passed away in 1993, and the absence of her wonderful loving energy and presence left a vacuum in my life. My source of advice and wisdom was gone, and I wandered.

In July 2002, I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. The doctor told me that if I refused a mastectomy, or didn’t take Tamoxifen, the cancer would be back in five years. I did research, and learned that a known side effect of Tamoxifen is an increased risk of both uterine cancer and heart problems. The tumor was so tiny, less than the size of a pea; I refused to lose a breast to it. I believed I was strong enough to rise above it with a simple lumpectomy and holistic practice.

I had learned the power of our thinking and I held the thought, “I will not allow him to plant that seed in me. I will change my diet, look at the cup as half full rather than half empty, and hold faith.” I fought against the fear that rose, and steered my own unique course.

In 2004 I met “G,” a loving being of divine light, channeled through Soulaire, (formerly known as Lynn Young, author of the book Being.) I had finally found “home.” I felt the strong love connection, and began taking classes with her and the Soulful Journey. From Soulaire and “G,” I learned about our birthright of unconditional love, absolute absolution, co-creation and co-partnership.

The classes were filled with humor and love. Soulaire took me beyond the former teachings, and I realized how much we create our own lives with our words, thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. From her, and from “G,” I felt unconditional love with no agenda.

In late July 2007, a simple mammogram determined that what had been previously considered possible scar tissue in the left breast was indeed cancer, now the size of a double egg yolk. I refused to go back to the same doctor that had planted the seed. Again, the cancer was estrogen receptive and aggressive. I feared for my life. The new surgeon did not look optimistic. I was stage 4.

This time, there was a difference. I had met Soulaire and “G.” Because of their teachings and through my spiritual practice, my spiritual life, I had become aware of our power within us, that it is connected to One True Light Consciousness, the source of my learning, expanding, and growing as a spiritual being. I came to realize that I had been a bystander in my life, saying the words, but not going deep within.

In September 2007, on a healing table with “G,” he asked me, “What do you choose?”
Me: “Between what and what, ‘G?'”
“G”: Between life and…
Me: Between life and leaving the earth?
“G”: Yes.
Me: “I choose life, ‘G.'”
“G”: “Very good.” And he placed his hand on my left shoulder.

I hoped that he would completely remove the cancer, but the universe can only give us that which we create. My teacher is not of this world; my teacher is beyond that. And what I discovered is that I have created my own limitations because I was not really present in my life. I have become aware of how when one is human and on the spiritual journey, we still all have obstacles.

Although I was not able to save the breast this time, I lived. The surgeon came in after the surgery with a surprised, but pleasant, look on her face, saying I had done well, and that the lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer.

I celebrate five years of cancer free. I am more than a survivor. I have chosen life.