As I walked down the hallway to Megan’s room, a deep sense of understanding came through me. A few minutes before, I was bounding down the steps thinking about how sweet Nathan was, now almost 2, with his mop of blond hair resting on his pillow and how sweet it was to watch my oldest daughter almost 10, lean over him, kiss his tired little forehead and say ” I love you Nathan.” It moved me so deeply inside.
Maybe it’s these types of moments that we live for but don’t realize it. Maybe because we are too busy, too tired, or too caught up in our supposed-to-do things that we don’t really notice the sweetest of things. Tonight I did. I saw it and I felt it. Love.
The real thing. Unplanned, unprompted, real. It warmed my heart. If only I could take credit for the bond between them. The oldest and the youngest of four children with eight years separating them. But nothing else — not age, not gender, none of their differences but only their likeness. They are certainly meant to be together. It feels so good to be part of that.
With all the energy work, the shifts, the mood swings that I have been going through lately with my psychic upgrades and advancements, I have found myself questioning if the path that I have chosen was really worth it. So much struggle, so much work, like an Olympic athlete preparing for that one great race. I have been through many layers of thick, heavy, stuck energy to make room for the new awareness that is coming in. Many people are feeling the magnificent energy shifts, and it is certainly causing many to be at the very least unhappy and moody. For me, it’s much more.
The moment tonight with my children, being there sharing a true loving sentiment, I realized just a tiny bit how all the “stuff” I go through is really worth it — the periodic changes in mood, the unexplainable draw to places or people in history, all sorts of really different things, that are not easy to talk about or even to understand. All the weird stuff I deal with daily is really worth it, because it helps me to connect at a deeper level. It will help me to really be in a moment like the one I described. And to feel it in its authenticity. And I did.
Maybe feeling is the point of the latest round of changes at my soul level. Feeling may not be such a bad thing, not a punishment as I have interpreted it for so many years. What if feeling is a gift? If that is the case, then even the bad stuff has to be part of the equation. Without the darkness, you would not really know the light. Maybe the pain, the struggle and the lacking is for a purpose. To really know the love when it is there. In the sweetness of moments. And this is my psychic life.