Learning about Life the Hard Way


One cool February evening when I was 18, I went out on a double date. The evening was cool, so I wore a sweater, my fringed suede jacket and a six-foot long scarf to keep warm. We went go-carting, and I was having fun and, being competitive, I was enjoying my half-lap lead.

But my fringe was getting caught in the engine, so I removed my jacket for our next set of laps. While waiting in line to pay, I heard a voice say, “Don’t go on!” I didn’t want to hold up the line, so I decided to go ahead anyway. When I jumped into my favorite go-cart, it wouldn’t go. I got into another, but after 20 feet it stopped, and I heard that voice again. It told me to button my top button!

I was annoyed at this extra delay (my friends were now way ahead), so I told the voice that I wouldn’t freeze and to just let me go! After 1-1/2 laps, my scarf flew out and started flapping behind me. I tried to catch it, but it got caught in the engine and yanked me right out of the cart. I was choking, and my eyes were blurring and almost popping out of their sockets! All I could think at the moment was, “This doesn’t happen in real life. This only happens in the movies!”

The reality of my situation sunk in when I realized I couldn’t breathe. I knew I couldn’t hold my breath very long, and I would probably die.

As I lay there, listening to myself choke, I heard that voice again. This time it said, “You haven’t accomplished anything and it isn’t about anything you’ve been taught. It isn’t about getting married, going to college, having a career or having children. It isn’t about any of that.”

All I could think at that moment was, “I am only 18! How much was I supposed to have accomplished by now?”

I felt a rush of fear, because I really didn’t want to die before doing something meaningful in my life. How horrible would that be? Dying was the easy part. If I just shut my eyes and let go, it would be done. But I prayed for help, because I just couldn’t die without having accomplished something. Luckily, at that point, my scarf was cut from my neck and I could breathe again.

After the accident, I was left physically and mentally battered. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I had to do something. At the time, I only knew one person who meditated; everyone else either attended Bible study or weren’t doing anything. I knew that I never again wanted to hear those words: “You have not accomplished anything.”

I tried my friend’s meditation, but I was too hyper to sit still for that, and besides, staring at the wall was just too weird.

About a year after the accident, I came home from work to find friends of my roommate visiting. I was in the kitchen. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I felt something that ignited a spark inside of me. It suddenly dawned upon me that that could be what the voice talked about. When the visitors spoke about their experience, I felt the truth of it, and I knew that was it!

That moment started me on my journey of self-awareness. Like every journey, it has had its ups and downs. In the beginning, I was so worried that I would not find what the voice was talking about that it blinded me. Now, however, I don’t think the voice was telling me I was bad. It was simply telling me that there is more to life than what you hear, see and touch.

I have worked hard during the last 40 years to be accomplished in many things. Not long ago, I realized that pursuing your own inner truth is how you accomplish things in your life. It’s just that simple. I found that healing addresses my inner truth. The more I heal, the more I know my truth.

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Jaci Loos
Jaci Loos is an Akashic Record Consultant, Sound Healer and Teacher. She is dedicated to change, growth and personal integration. Her passion is to empower others to experience their life with greater joy and ease. She is from Minnesota, however she also works with people around the globe. She offers private sessions in person, phone sessions or long distance; classes and tours to sacred sites. Visit www.akashicsoundhealing.com or call 651.269.7545.


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