Life is about learning and growing, developing new ideas and embracing concepts that feel just out of reach. I am a student of life and I am also a student of education, currently studying for my degree in holistic transformational psychology. A recent assignment provided a meditation to help remove blockages that held me back from reaching my full potential.
Honestly, my life has been running so many different directions lately I wasn’t sure I would fully appreciate the meditation. But listen to it I did — twice, in fact. In my first attempt, about halfway through, I walked away in frustration because my mind refused to be still. Taking time to simply breathe, I returned to the meditation, restarting from the beginning. I was in a place of calm, quiet spirit and mind.
My ego tends to get in my business — often. Chatter takes place and gets filed in my mind, with thoughts that I am not good enough, not prepared enough, not available enough, or any other automatic negative thoughts that start littering my path. My ego-self loved to toss clutter as quickly as I seek out ways to find my true path, leaving me to ponder if what I seek truly exists. Let me share that once I listened to the meditation for the class assignment, my soul shrieked in delight and danced with such elation that I am still flying high from the experience. I was gifted with a vision of hope for my future and was reminded that wherever a person is in his or her life journey, it is never too late to greet the changes.
In the calm of the meditation, rainbow beams of color showered upon me surrounding me with the essence of pure love. Then, guided by the meditation, I saw my personal stairs — metaphorically expressing how I would advance or retreat from my life purpose.
I am very afraid of heights and the stairs seemed a bit tall for my liking, but being surrounded by the light of love I did not feel afraid. In awe, perhaps, but not afraid.
My stairs were made of pearl with railings in rainbow-looking circular settings, crystal and diamonds inlaid, leading down to a closed door just barely past a shoreline of crystal clear turquoise blue water. Many flowers grew along the path at the bottom of the stairs. I most vividly recall roses, calla lilies and hydrangeas. Butterflies fluttered about and hummingbirds flitted happily from flower to flower. This view, my stairs with the ornate staircase, was so amazingly stunning it literally took my breath away momentarily.
Standing there at the top of my stairs, my feet throbbing, I felt as if I could neither breathe nor move. Glancing at my feet, I noticed I wore very binding high heel shoes and my clothing was a constricting business-style jacket and skirt. My ego-self kicked into high gear, feeding on my fears of falling down the staircase. I accepted that I would end up stumbling and that fall would hurt, a lot! I was standing there with my hands firmly planted on my hips, my “power stance” as it were, stubbornly trying to figure out how to get down the stairs unscathed.
Deep within, I began to recognize that this need to be some type of Wonder Woman was closing me off from my true spirit. For a moment, I envisioned myself sprinting down the stairs, being near those flowers, and suddenly found myself kicking those uncomfortable shoes off with such force they fell right over the edge of the stairs. I turned to look behind me and found a closet. Opening the closet door I discovered a comfortable, flowing outfit, much like you might expect if looking for some hippie-style clothing. I admit there may be an inner-hippie pent up inside me, and perhaps this was my chance to release this freedom of my soul. Making a quick change of clothing, I stood there, appreciating the cool smoothness of the pearl steps under my bare feet.
I took my first step down from the landing, wanting to run…run…run down those stairs. However, a fog began rolling in, causing me to lose sight of everything around me. I nearly stepped back onto the landing, feeling a bit fearful of what was to come, but decided instead to push the fog out of my way. This fog, unlike real fog, was hard like a rock and would not budge, which, of course, made me very angry, because it had no right to come along and block my personal space and my lovely view. It was an uninvited, unwelcome guest overstaying its visit. I decided the hard, dense fog would not keep me from moving forward and courageously took a step down, not able to see that next step, but knowing it would be there to land on. With this step, the fog softened a bit, allowing me to see a little more of the stairway.
Firmly planted on that second level step, I felt the presence of someone holding onto my shoulders, tightly, as if not wanting me to continue down the stairway. I couldn’t see anyone, because the fog had completely surrounded me by this time. Sighing, almost in disbelief that this was happening, I found myself thinking, “No way, you are not keeping me where I don’t want to be” — and I lunged forward forcing the stronghold from my shoulders. Stumbling briefly, I found myself standing on the next step, the third level of my journey.
Finally, the fog began to dissipate, yet from that third level step I found myself stopping, concerned about what was behind back on that landing. Seeing the image of “Wonder Woman” standing there staunch and stern, I shook my head and laughed at the irony of the image. There was no way I was going back there! I took a deep, deliberate breath, stepping down to the next step. As I released this breath the fog rolled away and I could clearly see the beautiful stairway, water, flowers, butterflies and hummingbirds. Nothing was going to hold me back now!
But, standing on that forth level step, the winds began to blow; first as a gentle breeze, then with such force that it blew my hair around my face, blocking my view near the bottom of my staircase. I reached to pull back and hold my hair in place and discovered in my hands a beautifully hand-crafted, gold-colored hair band adorned with a rainbow mix of colored flowers, which I gently placed onto my head to hold my hair back out of my eyes. After all, what kind of fool would I be to allow my view to be blocked as I began my swift decent down the remaining stairs?
The winds continued to surround me as if trying to hold me back from reaching my prize, the flowered pathway below. As I moved swiftly down each step, the winds calmed to a gentle welcome breeze. I soon found myself stepping off the last step onto solid ground. Standing upon this solid earth I felt safe enough to veer off the path, dipping my toes into the clear blue water. Serenity, simply taking in the stillness and quiet. Feeling a gentle tug to get back to the pathway, I returned to my path, the soft grass under my bare feet, sensing deep within my soul that if I had died this was indeed heaven!
The path was bright and warm with flowers of varied colors and hummingbirds unafraid of landing on my shoulders. Butterflies fluttered around me as I stood in front of a doorway decorated with flowers around the frame. I danced with joy, twirling around and around, feeling elated to have come down that stairway without falling.
As I twirled around, something gently touched my right hand. Looking down, tied to the end of the golden fabric belt-sash was a golden key encrusted with crystals, pearls and diamonds on the handle. The key was larger than any key I had seen before, but it was also very lightweight — and I feared that if I untied it from my fabric belt then I would lose it forever, as it might blow away with the wind. Before putting the key into the keyhole, I glanced back up the stairs, saw that staunch “Wonder Woman” image for the last time as I waved goodbye, and without hesitation, I put the key into the keyhole and released the latch.
The door opened quickly and enveloped me with a sense of peace and warmth. I walked through the door onto a deck attached to a lovely house that overlooked the red rocks of Sedona, which I must share is where I intend to continue with my life journey as more events unfold during my life. On the deck was an art easel with a nearly completed painting. I smiled, knowing I have all the time in the world to finish that painting, any time and any way I want to. There were flowers and plants, hummingbirds and butterflies everywhere I looked, and under the warmth of the sun I saw the image of my future-self coming to embrace me. This image was so fully confident, relaxed, and peaceful that I ran into the embrace without fear.
Into my awareness came the knowledge that I am stronger than I thought and, as I allow myself to soften my image (i.e., my inner hippie) instead of going through life believing I have to be “Wonder Woman,” the easier my life will become. I discovered I am prepared to “be the change'” in my life — the change I keep imagining, even though this may require me to release the energy of certain people or things that have long been part of my past. Growing into my own means releasing what no longer fits my life. The unfinished painting reminds me that I am continuing to evolve; I am a work in progress, and I hold no judgments as to why that painting is not complete yet. My higher self knows I am supported in whatever decisions I choose to make along my journey.
This meditation offered me the unique opportunity to learn about, and accept, that I must continue focusing on the new and varied shifts taking place in my life and I must shed and release those energies that no longer serve my higher life purpose as I continue forward with my own life transformations.
I was reminded that we are all supported by Divine energy whispering to us that all is well in our journey of life. Stay awake, flow with the tides, and enjoy the rewards.
Burst forth and live your soulful life!