Befriending an Unwanted Feeling


It feels almost instinctual as a human being to avoid a negative feeling. If something from the past doesn’t feel good, it’s quite common and understandable to distract yourself from it through any number of ways, such as using chemicals, overeating, overworking, etc. This may seem to help for a while, however, the act of avoidance keeps it locked in your body/mind system, unconsciously influencing you in a limiting way. A key to releasing an unwanted emotion lies in the last place one would expect to find it… inside the negative feeling itself!

Where would you look to find the unwanted past that has a grip on your underlying feelings and beliefs? Although the past no longer exists, it can have a strong, influential hold on us. The body is a good place to look, because it is a storehouse of old, outdated feelings that have not been given a chance to be fully articulated, expressed and/or processed.

In a new paradigm, unwanted feelings will not be avoided, but instead viewed more as a small child nagging for attention so they can be liberated from your body/mind system. As this happens, you become a freer human being… a clearer expression of your soul, rather than an expression of the fears from your past programming and conditioning. A negative feeling is simply a guidepost that informs us that we are out of alignment with our soul’s perspective, while a feeling of harmony and joy indicates we are in alignment with our soul’s purpose.

These days there are an increasing amount of emotional healing methods, such as EFT, EMDR, Emotion Code, etc. The right fit varies among individuals. It’s important to note that healing is a process that happens in layers. A triggered emotion means you’re ready for the next layer to release. I often use a light trance method that is a combination of effective techniques. It’s a process that’s best done with a skilled guide who can keep your focus anchored in the present moment.

When you permit a negative emotion to be your guide, it illuminates the unconscious beliefs it operates from, as well as where it originated. The key is to place your full attention into that negative emotion. As a result, the past is then reduced to a sensation in the body. The moment you fully feel it in the body, you have switched from thinking mode to feeling mode, and you’ve become anchored in the present moment. When anchored in the present moment, you can access the subconscious mind, thus uncovering the unconscious beliefs that this emotion operates from, as well as allowing it to point toward any situations, events or circumstances that contributed to this feeling.

With your will and intent, you can send the negative energy out of your body and recover the part of you that was lost when you took on that negative emotion.

Here’s an example: A man came to me with debilitating anxiety. As he fine-tuned his focus on it, he could feel it most in his stomach. Often, I ask the client to give the feeling a voice. A dialogue creates a space for listening, understanding and resolution.

After some questioning, it said, “I’m most afraid of making a mistake, and that means I’ll be judged and criticized, which means I won’t be loved, and I’ll be all alone.” These subconscious beliefs fueled the anxiety and locked it in place. Then, the anxiety guided his awareness to the situations early in his life that contributed to the feeling. They were most evident from a father who would not tolerate mistakes. These tense energies from early events had been trapped and replayed in his body for years, creating a pressure-cooker effect that exacerbated his anxiety.

As he focused and felt the feelings from the past in his body, he could then release them from his body/mind system and bring in the part of himself that was covered up and lost when he took on the fear-based energy. As his body steeped in the lighter energies of freedom, strength and confidence, these positive emotions became more strongly embedded in his subconscious mind.

Our negative feelings are not who we are, but who we are can observe, understand, release and heal them with intention. As long as we fear and avoid them, they will enslave us. But when we allow them to guide us to what wants to be acknowledged and no longer hidden within us, we can liberate these negative energies from our body/mind systems, enabling us to live from the true freedom that we are – and from which we can never really escape!


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