Empaths: What I’ve Found to Protect Myself


Yeah, we can be loud. Yes, we can be somewhat intense. We can have anxiety disorders and ADHD, among others. We’re doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers and street workers, and yes, we’re all empaths. If you’re reading this, I bet you know that you’re one, too. (Empath test and quiz on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/lana.duncanhartgraves).

From my experience at doing thousands of readings as a medium, it seems to me that as many as one in three people today are empaths, and as the new generation evolves, there are more and more of us. And yet, there are dark souls still out there — the ones who want to take advantage of you, suck your soul dry, and dampen your light. They are only “in it” for themselves. There are even people who were empaths but have turned off their ability for some reason or another, and try to do damage to us shining stars.

Either way, I’ve studied from others over the years and learned that there are several ways to keep yourself from being abused, mistreated and avoid picking up negative energy from those who throw darkness at you. I personally use most of these techniques to keep myself clear and grounded after I’ve done many readings, or have come into contact with a really negative person or situation.

We empaths understand and appreciate crystals. I find it quite humorous that science has declared gemology a “pseudoscience” when they’ve been using crystals in radios to conduct electricity for a hundred years. I’d love to show one of those scientists my frequently worn crystals that have clouded or cracked in half after reading for a particularly negative person. I know they wouldn’t believe me.

Some of these crystal changes are just amazing. Usually for me, the crystals not only cloud, but turn more white. I cleanse my stones like I am supposed to; I personally use sunshine or salt water. But still, there have been many favorite pieces of quartz crystals, amethysts and such that I had to simply retire.

Now, with all that said, I’m going to give you a couple of my favorites that seem to work for me as protection; some of you wonderfully gifted empaths might find something else that works. All I know is that I won’t be caught without them, especially if I’m reading psychically. I even put several stones on my table when I lay cards for people. I lay them around myself, and in front of a client. When I feel that their energy is not negative, I move my stones to the side. This has helped me a lot.

• Tourmaline, Tourmaline, Tourmaline — I can’t say enough about this wonderful stone. This is my favorite black stone (it comes in other colors). It seems to absorb all the putrid garbage around you. It protects from bad intentions also. I wear it every day, particularly in large crowds. My second choice would probably be obsidian. Any black stone has these qualities.

Seraphinite — I just love this stone and fell in love with it the first time I put it on. It’s supposed to help you connect with your angels. I wear it as a ring every day. I seem to see the other side clearer when I wear it.

Clear quartz or Smoky Quartz — These are just always needed. It helps me keep my aura clear, and helps me reflect love. They act as a “shock absorber” when I meet people with evil intentions.

Magnets — I wear magnets wherever I go. Not magnetite, just plain ol’ cheap magnets. Yes, I can feel when I don’t have them on, and it decreases my anxiety, depression, levels my mood and controls heart palpitations. Magnets also amplify whatever stone you are wearing. I swear by them.

Moonstone — I love moonstone, and I’ve found them to be very beneficial to regulate my hormone imbalances. I haven’t yet cracked or clouded one, which is a good thing. I wear these in conjunction with my magnets.

Imagination and Meditation
What I have found is that I am able to turn “off” my empathic ability to a certain extent. I’ve been an art teacher for over 27 years, and have learned how to “not” let any of the negative situations adversely affect me. There are times that it has gotten to me, but as an empath who has taught this long, I feel that’s a good track record for not completely burning out.

I learned to “turn off” my ability from a fellow empath. I imagine that there is a beautiful blue-green (healing colors) pyramid around me. Nothing can get in unless I invite it. It is warm, and I love how I feel, safe and secure. I put it around me when I’m feeling negativity from individuals or even when walking into a room.
Another technique is to imagine a mirror in front of you, and all the negative energy bounces back to the negative entity.

I also try to meditate every day for 10 minutes in the morning. I can tell when I forget to meditate for the day; it’s like I’m an aggressive beast. Even close friends will point out the differences in my energy and anxiety.

Learn to Say No
It sounds so simple: try not to take on more than you can handle. It’s just not that simple with us empaths. We want to help everybody and everything. We feel their pain, their frustration, their anger. We want to make everything okay for everybody. We have to learn how to stop and realize that we are only one person. It’s okay to not do everything. We wear ourselves out, and then we are not good to ANYONE. Say no to the extras sometimes. It’s empowering, and it doesn’t make you less wonderful than you are.

Learning to say no also applies to bullying. Empaths often put up with being pushed around so we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. People take advantage of us and our good nature. They make fun of us behind our backs and view us as “pushovers.” We avoid standing up to someone for fear of “causing trouble” or creating negative energy. In the meantime, we causing negative energy on the “inside” for ourselves.

Take it from me, as a person who suffered for years in a bullying workplace situation, it left me drained and unhappy. It wasn’t until I looked someone straight in the eye and said aloud to them, “No, I’m not putting up with your garbage anymore” that I found true peace. We are empaths, but we are also human beings. We deserve to have respect and consideration. Don’t allow yourself to be put in situations where people abuse you. Use your voice. We empaths have more power than we could ever imagine!

These are only a few things that I have found that have helped. There are many more. I am always willing to hear feedback about what works for each and every one of us. As empaths, we need to support each other on our life’s mission, which is love — love for others, as well as ourselves.

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