“The wound is where the light enters.” — Rumi
Many of us hear mental and emotional chatter within ourselves. We carry this baggage through the day, right into our sleep. This chatter is not only a single voice whining inside us but multiple voices telling us what to do or not to do.
We have heard that we are not defined by our thoughts. We know this cerebrally. However, every moment we replay our old thoughts in a kind of self-hypnosis. We sabotage ourselves when we succumb to our emotional and mental chatter.
So how did all the chatter get recorded onto the tapes of our psyche, consciousness, mind and souls?
A baby is born devoid of chatter, but with an absorbent mind. The unborn child is mostly affected by its mother’s state of heart, mind, body and soul. A newborn child experiences a world that is different from its mother’s womb. A vast and different reality. The birthing process, the welcome or rejection the child receives, informs him/her if the world is a safe place or the contrary.
The growing child experiences love, happiness, sadness, rejection and trauma. The child responds to situations with the limited resources it has. The first seven years of childhood are the foundation for the adult life. If these years have been mostly happy, safe, healthy, accepting and loving, there are more chances of the child growing up into a stable and peaceful adult.
On the contrary, if the child experiences rejection, abandonment, shame, guilt, sarcasm, judgment or abuse from its primary caregivers, teachers or significant others, there are chances that he/she will grow up with emotional and mental issues. The child then develops many coping mechanisms to exist in an unsafe world. The result is a lot of suppression and repression of emotions and feelings within the child. This is where the original wounding happens.
The wounds and coping mechanisms generate many entities or inner children within an individual, all of which have strong opinions and voices! The strongest voices are the ones that shape our personality and generate all the mental and emotional chatter within us.
One such voice is our Inner Critic, who constantly stops, warns and criticizes. The Inner Critic is the part of the ego that tries to keep one safe. It drives the individual towards inappropriate or self-defeating actions by sticking to the familiarity of its wounding and related stories. It tries to prevent more wounding by incessant emotional and mental chatter. For example:
• The world is not safe — you, your family and loved ones are in danger.
• You cannot do as well as others can.
• Become a helper or peacemaker so people will not know the real you.
• This is too hard, difficult, challenging for you, so just leave it alone
• You are not attractive, lovable or worthy.
Our Inner critic will shadow us for the rest of our life, unless we become aware of it. It needs to be heard, acknowledged and accepted until it finally rests in the healing place of our heart. Doing this is very difficult, because we do not want to remember the traumatic times of our childhood. It is terrifying to enter our shadow and discover what we had buried in the past.
Friends, the only way is through. We are powerful, worthy, courageous and enough, just as we are!
Let us start this powerful process of releasing all unnecessary baggage. You may do it on your own or request someone you trust to hold space for you.
Find a quiet place and breathe gently into your heart. Allow all the chatter that comes up to be heard. Let the pain and traumatic visuals show themselves. Let your heart break open. Allow the tears and pain to flow out. Gently hold your Inner Child in your arms, and allow him/her to speak to you. As the fear, pain and loneliness gets released, you will feel more peaceful. Tell your inner child/inner critic that it is okay to release the baggage, okay for the light to enter our wound.
Do this often, for it will empower you every time. The inner chatter will reduce and finally stop. Our mental and emotional baggage will at last be cleared.