I was born with gender identity issues. I always felt that I belonged to the opposite gender, not the gender I was born with. In a way, I had a rejection of the gender I was born with. Through my inner work, I started becoming aware of my rejection. I learned to embrace my polarity, and it shifted my perception and helped me in my self mastery.
We often tend to reject our opposites. We accept good, we reject the bad. If we are spiritual, we reject non-spiritual people. If we are born poor, we reject the rich. The rejection is sometimes not conscious; it’s automated. In this rejection lies our misery, our pain, our suffering. This is where the mind is born, the ego is born. As we become aware of these polarities, we can gradually start accepting it. In this acceptance, great transformation happens, and we become balanced.
So my entire self-work was about the mastery of balance. Through dreams and regression therapy, I saw many lifetimes with all kinds of polarities. I realized how, over and over, we fall into the endless cycle of karma. We all are born with all kinds of polarities; it’s just that we don’t remember it and, hence, we reject polarities.
The work of the polar opposite is to increase our awareness levels. Awareness is like a spotlight, and the diameter of the spotlight is equivalent to the levels of awareness. The more the awareness, the more the diameter. Being in the polarity is being pulled by opposite direction; in normal sense, it’s a stress. But when we can know that it has a purpose, rather than being stressed in those situations, we can use it to increase our awareness levels.
Many of the spiritual practices are just to face our polarities — to accept things as they are. If we can face it, we can have great transformation in our being. For example, if a person considers himself a male, he is mostly not able to understand the female. He thinks, “It’s impossible to understand a woman!” This is because the man has rejected the “feminine” part in himself. As souls, we have both qualities inside us — masculine and feminine. So if a man has to understand a woman, he has to connect to his “inner-woman.” When he can establish a connection with his inner feminine, he can understand the external woman. And this is true for any other relationship polarities, for example, victim-perpetrator, parent-child, old generation – new generation, etc.
Looking into the dynamics of polarities through understanding of the two metaphors, Shakti and Shiva, the separation of Shakti and Shiva is where karma begins. Until they meet, the karmic cycle goes on and on. In between the separation and the meeting of Shakti-Shiva is the cosmic dance, and we all need mastery to dance our own dance. Otherwise, we are in misery. If we can understand their nature in the dualistic plane, we can live in harmony. The work of Shakti is to irritate, so that Shiva can be awakened. Shakti wants to dance with Shiva, the cosmic dance — the divine dance of Samsara.
So if we can take the polarities as our beloved or teacher, we can learn from them and evolve. This perception can lead us to gain balance and overcome our karma. By transcending the karma between the two polarities, we can lead towards that cosmic dance where we become the Alchemist.