When we are small children, before we learn from others that happiness depends on anything else but our innate joy of life — we are naturally happy. Small children, unless they are hungry, ill or hurt in any way, usually wake up smiling, and they welcome each day with natural curiosity and passion.
Then, step-by-step, their environment begins to change their point of view, imprinting in them a set of conditions, rules, expectations and demands. The child quickly learns that if he/she does not comply, the appreciation for the child, or even sometimes love, is withdrawn.
Together with the set of rules about how to behave — what’s good and what’s wrong, what’s desirable and what’s despicable — comes a set of labels: “You are good, you are bad. You are black, you are white. You’re a boy, you’re a girl. You’re awful, short, small, too young, too old, too skinny, too fat, too dumb, too stupid.” In other words, “Do as I told you, be as I told you. You are not good enough and I am better than you.”
We begin to believe that we are not allowed to be who we truly are because we are not good enough. That we are not worthy of having the life that is happy, healthy, fulfilled and, at least in some way, comfortable, if not wealthy.
We all want to live a happy and authentic life, and only the details vary from person to person — depending on our preferences, talents, passions or interests.
Although we often have many opportunities to build such a life, we either don’t follow them, not believing in ourselves, or we don’t recognize such opportunities, because we don’t trust ourselves anymore.
We have been trained to wish for the same things that most of the people around us were trained to wish for: a better job, a better car, a nice house, a certain type of relationship, more money, more of this, and more of that.
And do you know what wishing for all those things really means? It means that change is what we are truly after. It’s not really the new job or a car or a house that we truly want, because in the end, when we get the things we want, we will still wish for something else.
Behind every wish for more there is a subconscious need for a change that will lead us to living our authentic life.
Where to start
Free your mind of past conditioning, and trust your heart. It knows what’s best for you. Don’t be afraid of life, it’s just life — a natural process, which can be harmonious and joyous, if you allow it. A simple solution for happiness in life is to replace your head/mind desires with your heart-driven ones.
Make a commitment to yourself and let your word be the most important asset you have. Each time you do what you say, you train yourself to be reliable. Then you will be able to create what you want in the world.
Don’t be afraid of your heart. The vision of your heart is bigger than any of your fears. It is bigger than your conditioned mind’s vision, and bigger than your subconsciously programmed vision of yourself.
When you trust your heart, you will find what you’re capable of, your purpose and what it is that you truly want, and need, to bring to the world.
Pay attention to the opportunities on your path. You don’t have to analyze everything to pieces. Once you get in tune with your inner truth, you can trust your heart. Follow it and there’ll be no mistakes.
Everything will align with who you are and what you need, to live the life you want, including the people you meet and the news you hear. Maybe you’ll lose a job that doesn’t support who you are, and then you’ll get one that is more suitable for your needs. Maybe you’ll move to a new place, or continue your education.
Things in your life will shift — to help you become who you are meant to be. And all you need is to be in the flow, and enjoy the ease of your life.