The snow blew sideways outside the window of the hospice in Connecticut. It felt like a sign; winds changing, something readying itself. It was my Grandpa John’s spirit and angels readying for his imminent transition into release. He was finally ready to go after his eldest son had arrived to say goodbye, the last of his children to do so.
“Grandpa, it’s Siri. I’ll always remember how you taught me to ride a horse!” I spoke loudly so he and his youngest son who was nearby could hear me. “I’m so glad you were at my wedding and that you visited us and held my children.”
“Grandpa, I’m going to give you Reiki, okay?” A breathy grunt immediately came from his open mouth. He had been totally silent prior. This was a good sign. I had the go-ahead. I had never really laid my hands on Grandpa before, not more than maybe a quick hug. This was truly what my 22 years of Reiki training had been preparing me for. I’d never felt so close to him before this moment.
His body’s cells opened and drew in enough Universal Life Energy to create the manifest symptom of heat in my hands. As his body, soul and spirit drew in more, my hands continued to heat up as clear confirmation of his acceptance of healing.
He began to move about a little to all of our surprise. He had barely moved or made much noise in days. His kidneys had shut down, he was 98 and he hadn’t been given food or water in seven days.
“Siri, what are you doing?! Are you bringing him back to life?!” a few family members questioned. I assured them he was just going through whatever shifts he needed to in order to let go.
The lights and TV that had been playing relaxing music turned off. We all looked around.
“What are you doing Siri?!”
“It’s not me. It’s his angels!” Grandpa’s youngest read the TV screen, which was now saying, “Reloading…almost there now… getting close….” We were aware of the incredibly clear reassurance the angels were providing us that this would soon be over.
My dad came over, stood next to me as I held Grandpa’s hand (just as I had envisioned doing days before) and with my hand on his heart, Dad reached across Grandpa’s body, held his shoulder and rocked it gently. “It’s okay, Dad,” he said tearfully, “You can let go now.” And I couldn’t help but feel complete amazement at this bonding moment between my father, his father, and me, as I cried too.
That night before bed I had nothing spiritually left to give. I asked for help from Grandpa’s angels, my angels, the Reiki Master lineage, Universe, God, Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, everyone, to please help Grandpa John transition to the other side. Help him to feel unconditionally loved, safe and guided.
The next morning my sister woke me to say Grandpa had passed.
The family called it the miracle of Hanukah because he had lasted eight days with no food or water. He was stubborn and incredible; a fighter till the end. I had interviewed him in middle school about his over 40 missions flying in the Pacific after Pearl Harbor. At his funeral the Naval Air Force took the American Flag off of his coffin, folded it just so, in a triangle and handed it to Grandma, thanking her for his service.
The next night around 2 a.m. I felt a tap tap on my leg. I froze. I thought that if I was still enough, whatever it was would go away. I realized it wasn’t my dogs, kids or husband. It was Grandpa. I saw an image of the helper he had tried to fire every day before passing, and the meaning that he was sorry. I saw an image of his eldest son, and the meaning that he loved him. I saw his granddaughter, Sarah, and that he loved her. I thought I must wake up and write this down but couldn’t. I was too deep asleep again and I felt it would all go away if I got up.
The next morning I was chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo at our altar while my youngest played behind me with our puppies. The doorbell rang. My husband texted me (it’s one of those smart ones) asking who was there. I opened the front door and the gardener was blowing leaves and shrugged when I asked. I felt at that moment Grandpa had come inside and was playing with my 4 year old and the dogs. Giggling and barking ensued. I was reassured he was having fun being free on the other side!
I am forever changed by Grandpa’s passing, the holding of each other while watching a slideshow of his life and weeping together as a family. My heart is ever more present and grateful for the moments with my family and the kindness of others. I’m so thankful for this beautiful experience the Universe provided us.