The conscious mind knows we cannot control the outcome of anything, and yet we do everything in our power to do exactly that as we think, think, think and do more thinking about all the what if scenarios of what could go wrong. This used to cause me such anxiety and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest every morning when I woke up and I felt paralyzed. The dread of what the day would bring and all the things I couldn’t control was exhausting and kept me in constant fear of the unknown.
This was a feeling I’d had ever since I could remember growing up and into my adult years. I worried about what people thought of me, I worried about my teachers picking on me and not having the right answers. It seemed I was afraid of just being out in the world and that it was an unsafe place to be, although I didn’t know why I would feel that way since I lived a pretty normal life, nothing of a traumatic nature where I was in danger ever happened to me. And yet I was filled with uneasiness all the time. If I traveled on a plane, I would be anxious about not being able to make a connecting flight or that I wouldn’t be able to find my way and I would get lost. Further into adulthood as I began working and creating a life for myself developing and learning skills along the way there was always this underlying feeling of not knowing if I would be able to succeed.
Once I began doing the Work to raise my own consciousness I knew I needed to do a deep dive into the nature of my fears and anxiety. The more work I did the easier it became to tackle what seemed like a huge insurmountable mountain. With each successful release of old belief systems the fear lessened and I had more courage to uncover more and more. I discovered and had a direct experience that I was the author of my own life, my own authority and that I created all the stories around what happened in my life thus far. I realized that if I am that creative then I could be more intentional about what I envisioned the future to be. I was in charge, with a little help from the larger consciousness system (God, Spirit, you choose) I could be, do and have just about anything I imagined.
The more I created without being attached to the outcome or caring what others thought the freer I became. What I created was for the joy and sake of creating and if others got benefit from it then that was more than I could ask for. I recognized that I have to create for myself and no other and that to be encumbered by the opinions and judgments of others I was not being true to myself.
Each of us must be our own compass, to give that power away renders us being blown down the road like a tumbleweed.
To learn how to you can bust through your anxiety and fears of not being in control, contact me at carolpilkington.com