As a cannabis nurse, I have watched the emerging cannabis industry with equal parts of curiosity and caution. I was first drawn to the plant medicine long before I smoked any. My husband was an avid teenage consumer back in his day, and he spoke of the “drug” through the greatest stories. It left me curious about what it would feel like to be high. Truth be told, I was looking for something. I had been searching for this missing connection within myself my whole life. At this point in my journey, I had come to understand this connection a little more, and I was on the verge of being a chaser of that feeling, that connection, the feeling that God is within you.
My first experience of this “feeling” came in some of my first sexual experiences as a teenager. A feeling of safety and connectedness that made my body come alive. Then other experiences happened in settings like church, leaving me very confused. Coming from my conservative religious upbringing, how could the same feeling be associated with sex and Jesus? But that’s for another article, back to the pot.
So finally, at the age of 30 something, while working as a Parish Nurse in a large midwest Lutheran Congregation, I got high. I smoked with my hubby and our friends until I reached euphoria. I remember the lightness and bliss that danced within my body. It was exactly what I had imagined, even better. And it was nothing but love for her from there. My experience of getting high the first time is unlike most. Without circulating cannabinoids to bind to, receptors go dormant. After your first dose of phytocannabinoids, receptors become activated, making your second encounter with her a different and more intoxicating experience.
I have learned a lot over the years. My relationship with plant medicine has undergone several transitions, and I have watched myself abuse her. I have watched as the cannabis industry has boomed with increasing access to safe medicine, available to most if you are willing to drive or are connected to someone with enough balls to mail you some. And I have watched the reverence for this sacred plant medicine fall to the sugar-filled gummy with red die #5.
The truth of the matter is this: Cannabis is sacred plant medicine, and we are abusing her. And we are also not using her to her full potential as medicine. Our relationship with her as a society ought to change, or there are serious consequences to humanity and the planet. We have lost reverence for her medicine. We use her in combination with alcohol to numb our discomfort. Instead, she calls us to allow her into the discomfort, as a plant spirit ally, to connect you to the deep stillness of safety we find within. This is the space of our inner teacher and our inner healer.
My work on this planet is to share how I used her to heal my shit. And to share about how you can come to use her in a more conscious way that serves the collective in this time of transition we find ourselves in. Follow me through this four-part series on Conscious Cannabis Use. I will share the history of cannabis as an entheogen, applying ritual to your practice, cannabis as a plant spirit, and its use with somatic practices.
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