Are there stories you were told that still influence you negatively? Maybe it shows up as self-sabotaging choices or behavior?
This time of the year, we experience longer hours of sunshine in the northern hemisphere. We are invited into our full blossoming along with the flowers and trees. This is a wonderful season to assess what you need to ‘weed out’ of your thoughts and activities to support living as the best version of YOU. One big belief I have been intentional about letting go of is the conditioning and programming I received to stay small and ‘don’t get too big for my britches.’
I have spent considerable time unlearning that belief and replacing it with empowered, authentic self-worth and self-love. Here is a bit more of my story from my book Living From the Center Within: Co-Creating Who You Are Becoming.
Resistance to being our best self can feel like procrastination, fear of being seen, wounds, pain, or frustrations. We can stumble upon beliefs and limiting self-talk, saying, “It needs to be hard,” “It’s not worthwhile,” or “I don’t deserve to be too big.” Growth and healing can kick up buried messages that we are unlovable or unworthy and attempt to squeeze our expanding self back down to size. The remedy to this self-sabotaging is to give our allegiance to that which expands us and trusts the natural process of human development where we access higher levels of consciousness.
Deep into writing this book, I experienced not having or being enough. I decided to ask for assistance in supporting the completion of this book through a crowd-sourcing fundraising process called Kickstarter. While creating the campaign, I could feel my resistance. What if nobody contributed? I would be humiliated and feel foolish. The worry increased as I launched the Kickstarter campaign and asked for backing more actively. Memories of times I had not experienced encouragement and felt sabotaged came flashing back.
A few days after the campaign launched, I headed to a cabin on a beautiful peaceful lake in northern Wisconsin. While creating Kickstarter email requests to friends and family one morning I became dizzy and nauseous. I vomited and had diarrhea for six hours straight! I moved from the bed to the couch, staying close to the bathroom. My partner graciously checked in on me and made some fabulous broth. Eventually, it stayed down, and I began to recover. The force of clearing in my body, emotions, and thoughts of times I had previously felt a need to stay small and protect myself was stunning. The process of writing this book has demanded more transparency, vulnerability, letting go, and honesty than I had anticipated.
Healing the holes inside ourselves can be painful and frustrating. Developing our perceptive sensitivity to subtle energies and realities can come with second-guessing and confusion. The rewards of continuing our development and letting go of limiting beliefs open access to higher levels of consciousness. It is a messy process with great rewards! We become more peaceful, trusting, and confident. We have the freedom to choose our responses calmly and compassionately. We have greater access to our creativity and inspiration.
As we continue to heal and let go, we free our attention and clarify our intention. Our daily life becomes more congruent, integrated, authentic, and coherent. We experience more joy, ease, and flow. We become more capable of intentionally participating in who we are becoming as we transition into this new era of being human. Today is a great day to let go of all that no longer serves you.
Thank you,
Michele Rae
Learn more about Michele Rae and The Center Within
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