This is the fourth article in a series of seven, designed to teach you about the stages of development and how we can get stuck emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually if we don’t work on past issues and traumas. Each also offer solutions for resolving childhood issues, so you can heal past issues and create a future filled with more love, joy, and purpose. Read Stage 1 2 3 4
My last article talked about Stage 3 which is the concrete thinking stage for ages 6 to 12. In this stage, children get stuck on what appears to be “real” and what seems to be “make believe,” due to wanting things more black and white. If any traumas or difficult situations happen to you during this stage of life, and you haven’t worked on healing them, you may find yourself stuck in this same kind of black and white thinking today.
Stage 4 (Fowler’s Stage 3) is the Synthetic Conventional Faith for ages 12 to 19. This is the abstract thinking stage where new insights, anxieties, and commitments are forming. Teenagers are still guided by their parent’s belief systems and those of their peers. Their own beliefs and knowings are not quite formed yet. At this age a person’s identity is forming where they ask themselves, “Who am I? How do others see me? What do others think about me?”
Many people get stuck in this stage. This is where you follow what others think without really questioning whether it makes sense to you, or whether it is really kind to others or self. If you’re “stuck” in Stage 4, you may continue following your parent’s religious beliefs and the beliefs of those considered authority figures, including the beliefs of your peers. This would indicate that having an internal feeling that your personal choices can affect your life path does not yet exist. You would probably believe that the trajectory of your life path is up to other people’s decisions and external events.
What keeps someone stuck in Stage 4?
The teen years is when many traumas and difficulties take place due to raging hormones, more risk taking, and experimentation with drugs and alcohol. These create the perfect scenario for devastating events and inner conflict. Almost everyone can come up with at least one event that is super hard during this time in life. It’s a time of much doubt and inner conflict, even without difficult external circumstances. It’s also when many people have their first feelings of love where the heart is hurt or broken.
If you haven’t worked through these challenges, they still reside within your mind, emotions, and body even if you’re unaware of them. They stay put like an invisible undercurrent controlling how you respond to life even though you’re unaware of what is driving the behaviors.
Breaking out of Stage 4
An important part of healing this stage in life is going within your unconscious issue, beliefs, patterns, emotions, and behaviors. This is most easily accessed by paying attention to your physical body since everything you haven’t worked through is held within it. Staying present to how your body is feeling, helps your body to feel heard understood, and seen so it can relax and begin the process of healing. It’s helpful to work with a counselor or practitioner to assist with this healing, since this may be intense work.
The main goal of breaking out of Stage 4 is to be your own expert and to find your own answers. This doesn’t mean you don’t ask for other people’s opinions. It’s good to seek the council of others so you can look at all angles of a situation. However, all decisions should come from your own inner wisdom and inner council. Even if you decide, later that you made an error. This is how we all learn and grow so there are no true errors.
A key component to permanent healing is replacing your issues with your spirit. We all have bits and pieces of our spirit stuck somewhere back in time due to our traumas and challenges. It’s important to hold the intention that you are letting go of the past and replacing it with your own spirit. A shaman would call this a soul retrieval. This will raise your consciousness to one more aligned with Unity/Oneness consciousness, which is what we need to move into a better world.
Remember that you are a Divine Being having a human experience. You are not your experiences. All experiences are part of an interesting adventure here on planet earth. Remember to enjoy the ride!
Many blessings,
Maureen
Enjoy reading this article? Read more from Maureen Higgins
Maureen Higgins owns Wings of Freedom, an alternative counseling and coaching business. She helps people be their best selves and recognize they are part of the Divine. Maureen also founded the School for Higher Consciousness. Maureen has developed numerous energetic healing systems you can learn through the school’s workshops and also experience through her energetically healing audios. Some of the protocols are turned into audios that clear your energy field like a one-on-one session. Experience an Energetic Healing Audios for yourself.
