As we grow older we experience transitions in life. A person getting married and becoming “a married person.” A person having children and becoming “a parent.” Transitions are like tiny holes in our lives and it can be challenging to embrace our wholeness through changes.
So how do we stay whole instead of with holes?
We embrace our essence.
Essence is the only constant in life. Roles, relationships, age, and body state will shift. Yet, our essence is what holds us together.
Embracing wholeness from our essence means understanding our core traits, our core natural abilities, and finding space for them.
For example, are you observant? Are you curious? Are you funny? Are you artistic? Are you creative? Are you a big thinker?
Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay
Imagine a woman who is a scientist, working in a lab and performing experiments. When she transitions to retirement she starts spending her time sitting on the beach reading a book. Soon, she withers, she starts being sad and keeping to herself. What could she do instead? Could she go on boat rides and study the wildlife? Could she start planting mangoes at her house and see which one grows faster?
One of the essential aspects of our lives is to take care of our essence so we remain whole and joyful. It isn’t necessarily doing it the same way we did in the past. We must remember to keep the essence as we reinvent. This way wholeness is part of our life.
The problem is that when we let go of a previous life we often miss parts of that previous life because we forget the essential aspects.
For example, I traveled before I had a child. I explored the world, then I lived in a suburb and it became dull and boring. People wear the same type of clothes and think in similar ways. Some of the suburban discussions were about problems created in people’s minds instead of real problems of the world. For some time I didn’t recognize it. Now I know what happened is that I didn’t integrate the adventure part into my life. Slowly, the opportunity to bring adventure into my life happened as I took my kid to places like museums and restaurants.
So next time you are exploring your wholeness remember your natural qualities. If you don’t know exactly what they are, try something new; a new hobby, a new movie, a new restaurant, a new hairstyle, go to a store and try different clothes. Listen to yourself and your essence.
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