I grew up in a chaotic, unhappy home with six kids, alcoholism, divorce, absent dad and debt. I felt alone, unloved, worried and worthless. My only comfort was a sweet parakeet, Marco Polo. When he died, I whimpered alone in my room. Suddenly a nice man in a maroon robe appeared, put his arm around my shoulder, and said, “Don’t worry; things will get better.” I felt a warm wave of love and comfort. Then he disappeared. Who was he? How did he get here? Where did he go? There was no one to ask.
By the time I was 16, troubles had grown worse. I couldn’t keep my grades up, my boyfriend left me, crises and chaos ruled at home. When my mom blamed me yet again for something I didn’t do, I ran out into the street at night. I looked up at a full moon and cried, “Oh, God, help me!” Suddenly, the moon’s light zoomed toward me, forming into the face of the same man who helped me when Marco died. With a gentle smile he said telepathically, “Don’t worry; things will get better.” Then he zoomed back into the moon.
Things improved for a while, but then troubles began again. For the next three decades I was on a merry-go-round of university classes, part-time jobs, rocky marriages, messy divorces, a miscarriage, money problems, shipwrecked careers and spiritual paths down dead ends. By the time I was 50, I wondered, What good am I? What good have I done? What’s the purpose of life? Then I remembered the strange man. Somehow I dragged on and didn’t take the sleeping pills I’d hoarded to end my life.
That summer, a friend of a friend invited me to a birthday party. I met a lovely couple. We sat on lawn chairs and talked for several hours about life and spirituality. When we parted they said, “We’re having a spiritual discussion class this fall. Would you like to come?” Sure.
The class was in an Eckankar center with a main room and several classrooms. When I walked in, there were pictures on the wall. One jumped out – the man who comforted and encouraged me in my darkest hours.
“Who’s that?”
“He’s Yaubl Sacabi, one of the many wonderful ECK Masters – spiritual guides – who help us behind the scenes on our own journeys home to God.
In the class I learned that I am Soul. We are all Soul, and we exist because God loves us. We’re here on earth to learn more about giving and receiving love and service. We’re all at different stages of unfoldment; yet, our common destiny is to become a co-worker with God in this or another lifetime.
Then I understood why I go through troubles. It isn’t a punishment. I’m not bad. It’s simply to educate Soul in the spiritual laws of life, divine love and chosen service. My life is no longer a burden or curse. It’s a forever spiritual adventure!
