Who doesn’t want something? I mean…really. When we look at the self-help community, there are oceans of options for…making the change — for making many changes, really, that help better our lives in so many ways. The self-help industry is huge, and it has been instrumental in addressing a big demand, or need, for personal change.
But then, if that’s the case, why are so many of us still trying to make pivotal changes in our lives?
There is a curious part to change, to being able to change your condition or circumstances. And sometimes what we need we can’t even see, i.e., we can’t see what needs to be changed in order for us to get what we want.
Oftentimes, what we really need to change is sitting there right in front of us — or rather, right inside of us. Let’s take, for example, the desire for a better relationship, such as creating a better relationship with our spouse, partner, lover or such. When we desire something, we have arrived at the doorway of choices.
Like a prayer, we send out a request, such as asking for something specific that we want. And it can seem that, most often, it doesn’t come back fulfilled. That is where we need to change ourselves. For example, if indeed we want a more loving relationship, we might actually have a more difficult time. What I mean is, if we want more love in our life, everything within us that doesn’t resonate with love will come to the surface. Everything about us that isn’t congruent with love will show up in our life in some way, shape or form.
A good example of this is road rage. Road rage has a very powerful message for us. Road rage is showing us where a rather simple event can set off a big emotional reaction. Re-action: an action…that is happening again. Although it might seem as if this doesn’t relate…well…it does.
When we move forward in making a significant change in our life, whether it is to have a more loving relationship, or anything else that we desire, we bump up against our karma. Our Karma. Now stay with me for a moment. I know the notion of karma is perhaps a very misunderstood aspect of each one of us. But I suggest to you that your karma is worth a considerable amount of your attention. Because if we don’t change our karma, we can’t really change our future.
To take a deeper look at our karma is to take a fresh look at our feelings. Emotions, really. Although there are other aspects of karma that can have a significant influence on our life, let’s just keep the focus on our emotions for now.
When we go to make a change, we bump up against our karma. To use the example of desiring a more loving relationship, we can feel what are really old emotions within us flare up within us as we open ourselves to more love. Just like road rage is the result of old emotions flaring up, so too is our re-action to more love. Love, itself, is a very powerful aspect of ourselves. To let ourselves fall into love can bring very strong feelings into our experience. And when those feelings of love are positive and safe, we can literally feel bliss welling up within ourselves. That is the feeling we are desiring. To feel wonderful in love.
But the snags are the re-actions that we might not be aware of: how we are re-acting to the new feelings of love? That just might be the pay dirt right in front of us. Just like road rage can feel a bit scary or overwhelming, if we don’t heal those pent-up feelings, we can find ourselves stuck in a re-active cycle — a pattern of dropping into an emotional re-action, thus creating a familiar result in our life. It is the feelings that trigger our re-actions that would be the answers to our desires, or perhaps prayers.
Love, itself, has no requirements of its own. With over seven billion people on the planet, there are millions, if not billions, of people who have a very healthy relationship with love. Just like gravity. Gravity didn’t change when you learned how to walk. As a toddler, you came to understand the timeless, impersonal nature of gravity when you mastered the art of walking. And now you walk with ease. But if you took gravity as some type of personal hardship, you could spend all of your energy expecting the gravity to change, to make it easier for you to walk. And you could stay in that re-action forever. Because gravity doesn’t change…you do.
We become more powerful, as agents of personal change, when we can recognize ourselves re-acting to things that trigger our unresolved emotions. When we catch our own personal energy shifting. When the old, unresolved emotional energy becomes upset. That is the opportunity to break the cycle — the cycle of dropping into the same old re-actions, triggering the same results.
The trick is to stay in the feelings. Even if it makes us uncomfortable. Even if the trigger sets off uncomfortable feelings that we have been avoiding for perhaps way too long. By just staying in the feelings and letting them dissipate, we are breaking the cycle. We are also releasing the feelings, so that they won’t be as scary the next time they come up. The more time we spend in the reactive emotional response, the better we can get at how we re-act, or don’t re-act, the next time it happens.
This is the doorway of change itself. If we can master the art of changing our re-actions, we can also master the art of changing the results. And then we create new results, and we have created lasting change itself.
The emotions themselves, just like gravity, are impersonal messengers that are telling us about our past relationship with getting what we want. When we have unresolved emotions before us, and we refuse to allow them to be felt, we put ourselves into a pattern of constant re-acting, and thus constant results, as well.
Do not be afraid of your emotions. Learn how to just allow the feeling of them. And learn how to release the energy behind them. That will be the beginning of new possibilities for your life — for a new relationship with love, or money, happiness, peace, joy, fun, and anything else you might want to bring into your life. As you allow your feelings to be felt and released, you are actually changing your karma for the better…for the rest of your life.