The images of my past are swiftly being left behind as I travel into a new day. I lived in a “zombie” state for many years, allowing life to beat me down as I watched others live and breathe, my own death closing in on me. Sleep blanketed my thoughts and I hid underneath the covers to escape the sad reality of my truth in this time of struggle and complacency. I believed my days of creativity, growth and personal joys were over. I gave my time and lifeblood to soothe and strengthen others.
Somewhere in the process I forgot what my life was about.
Now, in this time of autumn as the leaves reach full, blazing color, and the rain gently washes them away from their branches, I become fully aware of the steps I have so carefully taken to be free. Free of the dogma of ritualistic religion. Free of relationships that seek to harm and use me up. Free of a profession that had no respect for brilliant minds and full-service hearts. These leaves of my life are being swept away by the wind and rain, leaving my branches bare of the burdens inflicted on me by my own poor choices.
Now, I stand at the crossroads of my purpose and my truth. I choose to follow the path of an authentic life. I empty my mind of self-destructive thoughts, leaving room for inspiration, confidence and the voices of strength and light.
My present path may look unwise and uncertain to those who live in fear, while others applaud my efforts and look beyond the futile comforts of a material world. Though my branches may look weathered and worn, devoid of life and color, the core of my trunk is solid and true. There is now room for fresh growth and transformation will surely show its source in the coming spring of my life.
Underneath blankets of snow this coming winter I will grow, forming new buds and branches, which will flourish with unknown intensity in the coming years. What has died will now produce regenerated life and beauty. As life imitates nature, the tender buds will open displaying genuine color and shine. This new life will be mine.
I pray for wisdom as I choose the colors to decorate the branches of my life.
