Fear Not What Your Eyes Cannot See

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Everything was dark — really, it was so dark! If it were not for my feet guiding me down a path about 10 to 15 feet wide, I could have tripped. That would have meant possibly falling to my death. To the left of me on the path was a giant, steep cliff, facing upwards. To the right, there was a gradual drop off, which went into the Pacific Ocean. Although I conceptually knew what was there, because I had seen the place during the day, it did not change how scary it was at night with only the stars and the moon above me reflected in the ocean. It was at least a quarter-mile walk to my campsite, but I made the walk anyways.

Most of my time in the Redwood National Forest area consisted of me camping in the woods alone in the cold, California winter rain, near Crescent City, just off the coast in Klamath. Clearly, I was already very brave despite the fear I still felt, however being there was surely going to toughen me up more. This helped me to move past many of my fears about living in the woods, and in general about this world.

Although I had envisioned the quarter-mile walk in the dark to be an easy, literal moon walk down the path, for most people the moon walk always looks easier than it actually is. In my case, the moon may have been above me, but I could not even see my feet creeping down the path, and I had forgotten my flashlight. Instead of gracefully floating my feet, like as in the dance, I walked very carefully, trying not to trip.

Even though I knew that there were dangerous animals in the woods close to my tent, I still figured that mountain lions might like the cliffs that I was walking on. That fear was carried with me the whole time that I was living in the woods. The reason that I was in the woods to begin with was because of a spirit quest to connect with God. He/She really became a light in the dark for me while I was in the forest.

Please don’t let me die, was my prayer. Although I made it safely to my tent that night, what I noticed was that the further into the woods I walked, the less afraid I felt. For the cat that I was afraid of, I became. My eyes adjusted. My reflexes strengthened — my walk got more precise. I was glad that I had not turned around. After all, I eventually made it.

I wandered alone into the woods the next day, away from the ocean view campground. This time, I was on an actual hiking trail, only to find myself faced with similar fears, yet deeper in the woods, farther away from help. Regardless of fear, by the end of the trip I felt much more confident about my survival skills. I felt accomplished over progressing regardless of my fears.

The spirituality associated with my quest gave me a light to guide me, which was my own third eye. Even when I could not see, my third eye was guiding me. My third eye did not need a physical light to get a clear reflection for me to witness. My third eye could see in the dark. All I needed was a belief in my inner light, which is what had driven me into the woods, helped me to survive in the woods, and also which led me out.

I learned that I should not fear what they eyes cannot see. God has me equipped with an extra eye for seeing what my two eyes cannot.

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Meta Enzo is a writer currently living in Saint Paul after having grown up in Excelsior, MN. He has written three books that are being edited for publication. He has been greatly influenced by having lived in the Redwood National Forest for forty nights where he fasted for 30 days. Meta spent almost a year as a vagabond, traveling the country as an ascetic, spending ten months on a raw food diet as well as participating in spirit quests, retreats, and even living in a Hindu temple for five weeks. His free-spirited life and the consciousness acquired by having done so has left Meta feeling like one. Being an Aquarius, he lives life with a strong degree of eccentricity, but with intellectualism being a driver of his reflections geared towards self growth, for himself as well as communities, and society.

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